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I haven't even had a chance to jerk off in the last week. And I haven't been fucked since BC (before COVID). I went to Bush River Books this afternoon. There are 4 theater rooms, but two were blacked out due to video problems. Went into one and this hot bear was getting a BJ. He was playing with his nipples and enjoyed when I assisted him while he got his cock sucked. The nipple play sent him over the edge and he unloaded in the cocksuckers mouth. The cocksucker then moved to me. He had a talented mouth, but then he asked if I wanted to fuck him. I told him, I'd rather get fucked. He bent me over one of the couches and went to town on my ass! I totally loved it, and I really got off on the guys gathering around to watch in the near blackness. Several feeling my ass and nipples until the stud unloaded in my ass! So, nice to finally get a load! I went back over to the booth side with the gloryholes. Went into a booth. I could barely see the guy on the other side, but he was down on his knees looking for cock, so I fed him mine. It didn't take long before I blew a one week load in his mouth!! Great afternoon at Bush!!

Helping my sister move from Washington to Arizona was not how I wanted to spend my spring break, but being the loving brother that I am, I forewent the parties and potential tail to drive a U-Haul 1,000 miles while she followed in her car. We were driving down I-5 in Oregon when her check engine light came on, so we stopped at a Taco Bell to assess the situation and get some dinner. The guy behind the counter was a flirty 19 year old blonde kid who, while serving us, kept smiling at me, and after we ordered our meal, he proceeded to wipe down every (already clean) table close to ours in the otherwise deserted restaurant. Knowing what was up, I excused myself and headed to the bathroom. I was standing at the urinal with my cock hanging out when Blondie walks into the bathroom. He threw the deadbolt and walked towards me, making eye contact the entire time. Coming up behind me, he looked over my shoulder at my hard cock and gave a half-whimper, half-sigh. I smiled and turned, whereupon he dropped to his knees. The kid had skills, managing to swallow half of my thick uncut cock without choking, and bobbing up and down on my cock all the while frantically clawing at the front of his uniform, trying to free his own rod. After he had slobbered all over my knob for a minute, I grabbed his arms and lifted him to his feet. Reluctantly he stood-up, all the while trying to suckle at my cock. I grabbed his pants, opened his fly, pushing this trousers and boxers to his ankles in no time at all. His cock was respectable and rock hard, but I didn't really care as his ass was my principal interest. I turned him toward the sink and gazed at his perky bubble butt which was covered in light blonde fur. He bent over and spread his cheeks, inviting my inspection. Naturally I dove right in, tasting soap and boy sweat, as I munched on his tight, pink little pucker. He groaned in pleasure, but adding "I don't have a lot of time." "This won't take long" I replied, standing up and lining-up my pole with his hole, applying just a a little pressure to gauge his response. "Do it man, fuck me dude. Shove that big cock in my hole, please. I wanna finish my shift with your cum leaking outta me." With that he pushed back, his tight little hole opening wide to swallow my cock. He grunted as his ass slammed into my hips, and then we both simultaneously groaned. As I began to plow him, his hole tightened back up, and he grabbed the sink counter to steady himself as I grabbed his hips for better leverage. Using only our combined spit for lube, I was going to town on his young hole, not that I needed to worry: I can always tell when a hole has had practice, and this guy was no virgin. I briefly wondered who else has left his load in this sexy stud. His father? An older brother? Truckers who have stopped at the restaurant for tacos? It became a moot thought as I neared my orgasm. "Where do you want my load, boy?" "Inside me! Cum in my ass please!" "You want this poz load up your hole?" His hands reach behind me and pull me tighter into him, as his ass clenched down on my cock, crooning "Fuck that's hot man! Breed me with your poison jizz." That was all I need to hear and I started to shoot. Four or five spurts later I could feel his ass contracting in the tell-tale way that meant he had just shot all over to sink. I pulled out and before I can reach for the paper towels, he whipped around and swallowing my softening cock, cleaning up the leftover toxic cum clinging to it. Then as I watched, while tucking myself into my pants, he turns back to the sink and cleaned-up his own leftover mess. As I turned to leave, he smiled at me, cum still glistening on his lips. "Thanks" he said, panting and looking up at me like a little puppy. "No, thank you." I replied, leaving him there to put himself back together.

I agree

I want a rosebud. Not for fisting, I just think they look pretty.

Fisted and fucked a hot rosebud last night. Turns out I can plow with my new PA. It's been four weeks and I took it super cautiously, but I felt a shift at one point, and it began to pull. I kept expecting to pull out and find no ring on the end of my cock. We were both kinda spent by that point, so no load was given. I came home, cranked it out, and sucked the cum into an empty syringe for freezing and later use. I think I'll start saving loads from other men who don't shoot inside me for later use. This oughta be fun.

fuck thats hot wish I was closer I love breeding ftm boy pussy. Even hotter if chance I knock you up.

Another installment courtesy of Vancrawman. Appreciate him picking up the story and running with it. His stuff really gets me off and hope it does you, too. MAC MEN 11: BREEDING BETWEEN BASHES That’s what hit my email inbox the day after the Shudder party wrapped up…but before that, so much else had happened…. I figured I’d be getting home late and I was right – Shudder didn’t wrap up until after 5:00am… After Kenny and I double-fucked the blond boy, I fell asleep and when I opened my eyes, Angel was in my arms. We made out a little more, and, in true Shudder brotherhood tradition, my cock sprang up to attention once again. I had really wanted to breed that furry dark haired hole that was at the glory-hole booth when I first went upstairs to the After Party – but I got distracted by taking loads and then by the DP with Kenny and when I went to look for him, he and his tasty hole were gone. But then I looked over Angel’s shoulder and I see that furry dark boyhole is back in the booth and available. The crowd has thinned out some by now. Angel sees me looking at the guy and laughs, tells me to go over there. I make my way there, my fuckstick at full mast, and with one swoop into his hole, I bury the angry raw tool into the warm dark hole of this beautiful boy of around 19 or 20. Even for breeding five holes already tonight, my cock is still hard as steel, I’m just not sure I have any seed left to bestow on this boyhole…I deepen my thrusts as his hole twitches and shimmies from side to side, I’m determined to get this hole loaded up with my Load #6 of the evening. I pull my raw cock out just for a moment and it’s covered in load from this boy’s insides. Seeing all that mixed semen coating my rigid staff makes me mount up again and plunge back into the boy in one deep thrust. My mind replays all the breeding that’s gone on tonight, from my cock into all the holes and from other men’s cocks into my fucktunnel. In no time, and in true Shudder fashion, I feel the need to breed surging through me once again, my pace quickens and I throttle in and out, thrashing and bucking like a bull and then I feel my sixth load transferring from me to the man in front of me…my heart is pounding as it pounds into him, five, six, seven, eight spurts of fresh seed. Just like Five-Shot Frankie told me, the Shudder Brotherhood replenishes a man’s balls so they can be mass inseminators. But yeah, now I am spent. I thank the boy, finger his sweet passage a bit and bring the mixed-origin jizz to my lips. This was the perfect way to end the party. I find Angel who has just deposited another of his cumloads into the gloryhole occupant a few feet away. I see that it’s Aaron, whom Kenny and I double-fucked earlier. I love that Angel and I both got to tag a lot of the same holes tonight. We embrace and go downstairs to get dressed. As we descend the stairs, I ask Angel how much cum he’s shot tonight: ‘Seven fucking loads my friend,” he says proudly “I think cuz I knew you were here, you helped me beat my record! And I know I took at least 8 loads tonight. Another record!” There’s only a few guys still down in the changing area. Ron comes by to announce they’re closed: “You don’t have to go home, men, but we gotta close up here. See you all next month!” “Randy,” Angel whispers to me, his hand casually cupping my raw cock and balls “you’ll see an invite in your email tomorrow. I hope you can make it to that party. It’s next week and something new we’re trying at a new venue. Details will be in the email.” We share spermy kisses in the parking lot, each other’s fingers reaching behind for one last foray into our cum-soaked fucktunnels. “See you soon, buddy, and welcome to the Club,” and with that Angel is driving off. All the drive home, as the sun was rising and the rush hour starting, with the stop and start traffic on the freeway, I kept replaying the night in my head and I never felt so alive. But I was also dog tired. As I stumbled through the lobby of my building, I see Angus, the muscle-bound Scottish stuntman for one of the TV studios in town, coming out of the elevator. He takes one look at me and gives me a “I know what you’ve been up to all night” kind of look. I get on the elevator and press for my floor. “Looks like you had a fun night,” says this mountain of a man who has barely exchanged words with me in all the time I’ve been living in this building. “Out with the lads or up to no good with the ladies?” “Lads,” I smile and say back at him, as the elevator door closes between us. “Damn,” I mutter to myself,” I’ll never see him at Shudder” I sleep heavily that morning, clear through to the afternoon. It’s almost 4:00pm when I wake up. I recall some dreams I had during my sleep, dreams about cocks and holes and breeding,…my sexy neighbor Angus is there in the dream, but off to the distance, away from any action, just watching. I wake as hard and ready to shoot as any time at Shudder last night. Without checking my email first, I stagger out of bed. It’s 4:30pm now and I need to hit the gym. I’m there about an hour when Bryan, my fuckbud from the yoga closet sees me and we stop to talk. “Sorry I couldn’t make Shudder last night,” Bryan says, “work went long. Did you enjoy yourself?” I’m regaling Bryan with all the adventures from Shudder last night and he’s rubbing his crotch through his gym shorts, right there in the weight room, his tight body leaning into mine. I swear I can smell the testosterone oozing off him. My cock springs to life in my shorts, brushing up against Bryan’s hard pole tenting up in his spandex. “Wish I had the time to hear more about it in private with you, Randy,” he says as he reluctantly backs away from me,” but I gotta go back to work now. Did you see the email from Angel about the Armband Party?” “Armband Party?” I ask, “No, what’s that?” Bryan just turns to walk away, laughing and tells me to check my email and it will be explained. I reach for my phone and there’s 40 emails to go through. Some are the usual spam, plus a few work emails, but most of them are about Shudder and a few from guys from last night. As I’m thinking to myself I better set up a dedicated email address for Shudder Brotherhood stuff, I read a few of them: From Five-Shot Frankie: “Fuck, man, it was so good to get up into that cummy hole of yours, Randy. I can’t wait to seed you again!” From Rafi: “I took 12 loads last night, Randy, but yours was my favorite since I got your first Shudder cumload out of you. I got home at 6:00 am with my hole leaking like crazy from all those loads. Thought I’d send you a pic.” And there was Rafi’s sweet coffee-colored hole with huge amounts of load oozing out. As I look at this and zoom in a bit, my tentpole action in my gym shorts gets bigger than ever. From Aaron: “Hey, man, you and your bud Kenny can DP me anytime, stud! My hole is still dripping from those cumloads you guys injected into it! Welcome to the brotherhood, Randy, there’s no going back now!” Finally, I find the one forwarded from Angel and open it up. It’s from a guy named Keith and there’s a lot of introductory stuff about the rules regarding photographs (none), smoking (none) and rooms of the private house venue that are off limits, but it’s the next section that takes my hard-on in my gymshorts to another level. I hold my sweaty towel in front of me while I read – It says: “Some of my parties will be what I call “Armband Parties,” and this will be featured in the invitation email. At arrival, everyone must choose between a yellow, green or red armband: (you may change armbands during the party) a. GREEN ARMBAND: TOTAL BOTTOM. When you are in the sex area and you have a green armband, any Yellow Armband (Versatile) or Red Armband (Total Top) can top you and/or breed you as he sees fit. Green Armband bottoms can also station themselves in a fixed spot while blindfolded for a true cumdump experience. b. YELLOW ARMBAND: VERSATILE. When you are in the Sex Area and you have a yellow armband, you may top and/or breed any other yellow armband, or any green armband as you see fit. You may also be topped and/or bred by any other yellow armband or any red armband as he sees fit. c. RED ARMBAND: When you are in the Sex Area and you have a red armband, you may top and breed any Green or Yellow Armband as you see fit. You may not top another red armband while you are wearing a red armband (oral or rimming OK). d. Respect consent and if someone doesn’t want the encounter or wants to stop the encounter, he will inform you and he will leave the sex area. e. All my house parties are BAREBACK only – Condoms are never permitted. If we see you using a condom, you will be asked to leave. f. The purpose of this party is to enjoy yourself, meet new men, have good bareback sex – and breed as much as possible. For this purpose, when you are in the Sex Area, you must be engaged in sexual activity (touching, kissing, sucking, fucking, rimming) g. Two oral bottoms who will “greet” every guest upon his arrival. Every guest MUST be serviced for a few minutes by at least one of the oral bottoms. Once the doors have closed to new arrivals, the oral bottoms will circulate throughout the sex area, and will be wearing Green Armbands for the entire night. As I read this, my stiff cock is bursting out from the leg of my gymshorts and I can feel the wet pre-cum leaking out of my pisshole. “Fuck,” I text Bryan, “this Armband Party sounds fucking amazing! U going?” “Hell yes, I’ll be there, stud,” was his response. ‘Hey Randy, I’m meeting up with a hot Alpha man I know later tonight. You want to make it a threesome? You’ll love Eric, I guarantee. Hung like a horse and full of cum. He’ll throw a fuck into you like you won’t believe!” “You let me know where and when and I’ll be there, Bryan,” I text back to him. “Six loads shot last night and I’m ready for some more tonight,” I think to myself. I fucking love this life!” I rush home, shower thoroughly and fall into bed for a quick nap, then get dressed in a leather cockring and as little else as possible, and by 8:00pm, I’m back in the elevator going down when on the floor below mine, Angus boards the elevator, his muscle tank barely containing his big chest and I’m staring at his arms and how I want them to pin me down when my daydream is interrupted by his Scottish accent: “You going out again tonight, lad? Aiming to recreate last night, are we?” I stammer something quickly and probably incoherently. This slab of a man is making me ooze more precum in my shorts right there in front of him. I try to put Angus out of my mind and get to my car and soon I’m on my way to swap cum with Bryan and Eric. Bryan texted me a pic of Eric’s cock – big and thick and dark – this is gonna be good. The whole time from the gym encounter with Bryan to this moment in the car, my dick has been straining and needing attention, I hope I can hold out and not blow a load too soon with Bryan and Eric – and then I remember, I’m a Shudder Stallion now, I can cum as many loads as I want to! Bryan left his door unlocked and when I arrive, I just walk in and I hear some noises from the bedroom. I find Eric, a beautiful beefy guy, hairy chest and dark olive skin, already mounted up from behind inside Bryan’s smooth butthole. Bryan’s on all fours and his eyes are rolling back in his head in ecstasy. I strip off right away and dive under Bryan into a 69 position, taking his hard pole into my waiting mouth, all the while watching Eric’s thrusts of the dark shimmering fucktool and his precum dripping down on the outward motion and I position myself to catch it in my waiting mouth. Suddenly, Eric whips it out of Bryan’s hole and down into my mouth and throat in one smooth motion. I’m barely able to breathe as that fuckrod is pummeling my throat. And then it’s back up Bryan- throbbing in and out of his hole, back to my throat, back up Bryan’s sweet passage and on like that for 20 minutes. None of us have exchanged any words, we just dove right in to what we as men were born to do: raw fuck and breed each other. Bryan has worked his mouth onto my cock and swallows it down whole. Already this is sensory overload. I gently ease my fucktool out of Bryan’s mouth and Eric motions for me to get up and get it into Bryan. We rearrange ourselves and Eric is now on his back with Bryan working his cock over with his mouth while I’m poised at Bryan’s fucktunnel with my raging cock of steel. I see all the precum coating Bryan’s hole and I just have to dive my tongue into there before beginning the anal assault on this boypussy. But this is more than just precum… “I had some frozen loads saved up,” Eric explains, “a couple from me and a couple from some buddies of mine, so I pre-lubed Bryan’s sweet ass for us, Randy. Get that cock of yours in there, Randy, and then I’m gonna mount up and ride your hole with this,’ he says, shaking his thick cock at me. That was all the invitation I needed and with one deep thrust, I was up inside Bryan’s fuck passage and pounding away. It’s even better than that hour in the yoga room with Bryan because now I can feel those cumloads that Eric inserted coating my cock and coaxing a fresh load of my seed out of it. As I’m going to town fucking Bryan, Eric edges up behind me and I feel him parting my cheeks and a tongue finding its way into my hole…The tongue fucking he’s throwing down on me is heavenly and my pace inside Bryan’s ass speeds up. I’m starting to abandon any hope of prolonging this load that’s gonna shoot out of me soon, but just then I feel a cold, icy sensation on my hole. That fucker Eric has got more frozen manjuice, this time for my hole! I stop thrusting into Bryan and dig my cock deep in his guts and grind it slowly as the icy cylinder of cum invades my butthole. Eric’s laughing an evil laugh as it coldly goes up inside me…What a sensation as it immediately starts melting and creaming my insides with this spunk from who knows who? “This is three of my loads frozen up there, mixed with 2 others I sucked out of some businessman cocks at a glory hole the other day,” he devilishly says. “All melting now inside your hole, you fucking cumdump slut.” His hand slaps across my cheeks. Eric is fingering my hole as I’m leaning forward over Bryan, our tongues exploring each others mouths. Eric takes some of the melting spermloads from my hole and brings them up to Bryan and my lips and we snowball the cum back and forth to each other…I’m lost in bliss with this, my cock, still firmly buried in Bryan is surely leaking precum into his guts, and then Eric’s fat fucktool starts invading my cummy hole and he begins a brutal fuckdown on me, pinning me against Bryan, and pinning my hard dick deep inside Bryan’s guts. “Ever since Bryan told me about flip-fucking with you at the gym, I knew I needed to get into that blond boyhole of yours, Randy. Fuck that’s a nice hole. Hope you like this, fuckboy, cuz I ain’t stopping until you’ve got my fresh manseed up in there.” Eric is just pounding at me brutally now, I am unable to move much except upon one of his thrusts. His thick veiny arms are pinning me down, smashing me and my rigid shaft further into Bryan, over and over this goes for about 15 minutes of pure raw uninhibited mansex, frequently punctuated by slaps across my cheeks and a few “fucking cumdump!” or “take that fucking raw cock!” growls from the manbear that’s making me his property. I sense he’s getting close as his breathing gets even heavier, I feel his thick fuckwand pushing further into me, somehow expanding even more in advance of the jizz that’s gonna come flying out of it; the purest form of mansex there can be is the transfer of cum and energy from one stud to another, and it’s happening now. He’s moaning and groaning heavily and finally shouts “Take it fucker, take that big fucking load up your hole!! Fucking bareback cumdump meant for my alpha DNA!” This was all I needed, and even though my body and my cock are pinned under this mountain of a man covering my ass, my cock inside Bryan begins shooting like a fire hydrant, I feel 11 spurts of seed coming forth from me, all the while Eric is still spraying his load inside me too. I have no clue how much cum Eric deposited into my ass, with the six inserted loads and the geyser of jizz that just came out of his cock…My hole is cummy and warm -- no hot, like it’s on fire, with his seed. After a few minutes of post-cum grinding into me, making sure he’s got every drop from his dickhead into my fucktunnel, Eric pulls out with a splashy cum sound. I pull out of Bryan and collapse over to the side of the bed. Bryan is jerking his cock furiously and I lean over to get my waiting mouth in position to catch this stud’s load. Eric approaches him from the other side and we both await the eruption from Bryan’s raw, red cock and when it finally comes it hits me in the back of the throat, Bryan pulls out of my mouth and directs the next jet of his cum into Eric’s open mouth. And back and forth like that for all 8 shots of Bryan’s jizzjuice. We all three start kissing and smashing the loads into each other’s mouths. We’d been going at it for over an hour, all three of us shooting massive loads, and yet, in the great Shudder tradition, our cocks are all still angry and hard…I scamper over on top of Bryan and without a word, impale myself on his stiff sword and start riding it. Bryan is in overload mode now and he is almost whimpering with delight and desire as I bounce up and down on him, my cummy hole leaking out onto him. As I hoped it would happen, I sense Eric moving behind me into a double-fuck position, he pushes me forward, being sure to keep me impaled on Bryan. I feel his hot breath and hairy chest on my back as he opens my hole up to accept the double-fuck. Once his fat tool is up inside my hole, he and Bryan coordinate their throbbing in and out of it, the formerly-frozen stranger cum and Eric’s own seed sloshing around and coating their steel rods. My own cock is smashing against Bryan’s smooth chest, oozing precum which Bryan scoops up in his fingers and shares with me. Eric starts growling and almost screaming he’s gonna seed my hole again, “Fuckin’ take those raw dicks!” and at that, Bryan is bucking like a bull, his cock moving up inside me, against Eric’s tool, and it begins shooting his load. Based on his convulsions, it looks and feels like 7 or 8 shots of seed. Finally it stops spurting and Eric lifts me off of Bryan and reenters me for a second brutal fuck. He doesn’t last very long this time, and almost immediately starts gyrating, roaring loudly and shooting his superior manseed into me. I count 10 jets of semen transferred from him to me. My own cock which I’m not even touching, starts to blast cum several feet into the air, catching the headboard behind Bryan’s head and the wall behind that. The three of us collapse in a sweaty, cummy heap. Someone’s fingering my hole, I’m not sure if it’s Bryan or Eric. I’m holding Bryan’s red raw cock and licking the head of any jizz still lingering on it. Eric is holding us both in his massive arms. “Randy,” Bryan says, “I’d like you to meet my husband, Eric. Eric, this is Randy.” And we all laugh and fall back in the bed. “Are you guys going to the Armband Party?,” I ask after a few minutes. “We’ll be there,” Bryan says and with a devilish grin, says “And Eric will be wearing a green armband so his ass will be ours.”

Part 5 Jackson awoke his body awash with sensation a burning pleasure like nothing his brain had felt before like every nerve in his body had been rewired for his gratification, he let out a low guttural moan that. his new eyes took in the glory of his new form his skin was now a slate gray taught over rippling muscle as if all his body fat had been drained away in the transformation. the black veins spider-webbing across his body throbbing with a toxic green light carrying his makers gift of corruption though him to where the change was not yet total. The once blond hair on his chest was now coal black his eyes wondered downwards. the carefully cultivated treasure trail down his abs that had been many a womans downfall led his eyes to the improved weapon that too was beginning to rise from its slumber. his cock once a respectable 8 inch of thick meat had doubled in size and seemed to be showing no signs of stopping as it swelled with his new toxic blood. Movement in the darkness caught his eye and he turned his head; he was on an examination table in what looked like a laboratory across from him in what once had been a containment room he could see shapes writhing in the dim light he could see body's inter-tangled some pushed up against the glass illuminated in all their glory by brief flashes of red light he saw his new toxic brothers enjoying each other in every way possible and could just make out the cacophony of grunts and moans. their own perfect forms practically swimming in the oily corrupted cum they must have slipped into each other Jackson licked his lips and went to rise to join them in their orgy of debaucherus' pleasure. when a hand rested on his chest, he looked up into the eyes of his maker Jackson let out a mewl of need as that touch sent waves of pleasure running though him the creature nodded once. Jackson lay back down his eyes no leaving his maker the thing moved between his feet hanging over the edge of the slab its hands reached up and gripped his ankles it pulled, Jackson's form slid down the slab his ass now hanging over the edge exposed and vulnerable. Jackson let out a whimper as the thing lowered its head and slowly licked its way up his body its massive toxic cock carefully positioned to nudge at his hole to tease its new convert with more of his maker's gift. It licked its way up his engorged throbbing cock causing a moan to escape the younger creature's mouth the maker smiled and moved up his new creations tight abs and chest taking a moment to tease the nipples Jackson bucked and squealed from the sensation impaling itself of the makers iron hard rod just a little enough for the head to slip into his velvety shoot. Both creatures went still for a moment at the sensation they locked eyes Jackson noticed the feral glee sparkling in the thing's obsidian gaze seeing his new self-reflected there a helpless sacrifice to his and his makers perverted lusts Jackson nodded giving himself now and forever over fully to his new creator. the maker let out a growl of dominance and drove into Jackson in one fluid motion its balls slapping against his ass, Jackson's black eyes bulged with the sensation expecting pain but feeling none, the pleasure was almost too much for his new brain and nerves to process, then the maker drew back and did it again and again speeding up Jackson's form bucked like a rag-doll under the assault his head snaping back and forth caught in a perpetual scream of ecstasy his legs wrapped around his maker trying to force the creature deeper their mouths met and Jackson screamed his elation into his maker their tongues entwined. They rolled and fell to the hard tile flood and for a moment they separated laying on their back's eyes looking at the ceiling before his maker pounced again flipping him over on to his stomach he felt the weight come down on him then the slick sensation of his maker invading his insides once more Jackson howled with pleasure pushing back onto the invading dick milking as best as he could, wanting no needing more of the pure toxic strain to make him stronger faster better than others, he felt the steel rod in him swell again and knew he was about to get his desire. His maker let out that keening scream he remembered from his first time and the searing heat burned though him again pulse after pulse of it his brain somehow knew this time would seal his transformation would lock him into this new perfect form and he whimpered under his maker no going back this was his life now and he had no regrets. The creature pulled out of him leaving him feeling empty and turned him over looking down into its creations eyes it leaned down and griped either side of his face its hands gentle thumbs creasing his temples it leaned down further and kissed Jackson almost tenderly, without breaking the kiss it crawled up his form and settled on Jackson's tight muscled chest it leaned back exposing its ass . the creatures hand moved down to Jackson's hole now leaking its toxic continence onto the cold floor it scooped it up and rubbed it around its twitching hole fingers easily slipping inside causing it to moan into Jackson's mouth, it scooped up more toxic cum from the pool and dripped it down Jackson's rock hard cock satisfied it manoeuvred the young creatures newly changed and charged cock to its own hole pushed back it slid down the length one agonisingly slow inch at a time. Jackson let out a moan his eyes rolling back in his head he lay twitching with pleasure his brain overloaded by the sensation and the pleasure of the change only a few seconds later Jackson's cock exploded rope after rope of black oily cum deep into his makers bowls, the creature chuckled darkly and patted the bio-hazard sign forming from the black veins on Jackson's chest knowing it had created a work of art in this one. The creature waited for its new creation to be able to move again and helped him rise the maker gestured to an open-door way Jackson knew in his being it was time to hunt time to get him his first meal of pure untainted cum an image of his team mates appeared in his mind and he licked his lips his veins pulsing toxic green light faster in anticipation.

Hunter noticed that Chris always ended up on top of Tyler. This was how they would fuck he decided. He pulled off his shirt and reached back to the side table and said, "You boys want lube? I'll just set it here if you do." He put the bottle on the bed near them. Chris and Tyler looked over to him and at the bottle and Hunter knew what was going through their minds. "Youve never used lube have you?" The boys shook their heads. "We just cum from rubbing against each other" Tyler said. "We dont need it." "Youve never jerked each other off or anything? You could also use it if you take things further. You know, maybe if you decide to fuck." He left it there. But he did notice that Tyler seemed to be lingering on Hunter's chest. It was hairier than the boys. Maybe Tyler liked older hairy guys. He would test that later. "You boys make a lot of precum anyway so maybe you could use that as lube." The hits were working on Chris and he saw that Hunter was creating an opening for him to push Tyler to do more. He grabbed the bottle of lube and raised himself to his knees. Tyler raised himself onto his elbows looking at Chris. Chris flipped open the top and poured a little of the lube onto his hand. He put it up to his nose and smelled it. Nothing. He looked into Tyler's eyes and grabbed Tyler's cock. He began to stroke Tyler's cock covering it with the lube. Tyler sank down and moaned. Stroking his cock never felt so good. Hunter saw an opportunity and grabbed the pipe and torch. Tyler opened his eyes when he heard the click and again raised himself up. Hunter knew he had him. He put the lit pipe up to Tyler's mouth. "Let's see how big a hit you can take." He turned to Chris. "Try that lube on your cock." He winked. They both knew this could happen. He pulled the pipe away and told Tyler to hold the hit longer. Hunter and Chris could see something changing in Tyler's eyes. After he exhaled, Tyler took another big hit. Chris poured lube directly on his cock and started stroking. It felt amazing. "How are you feeling Ty?" Chris asked knowing that something had changed. Tyler was still holding his second hit and nodded. But when he blew the cloud out, he moaned. "This feels really good." Tyler looked down at Chris' cock glistening with lube and rock hard. He wanted that cock more than usual. He couldnt expain it. Chris took two hits and he could feel that he was hornier than he had ever been before. He wanted to fuck. Without Hunters prompting, Chris leaned down to Tyler and shotgunned his second hit. Hunter stepped back as they made out with more passion than before. Hunter noticed that Tyler's legs were wrapped around Chris' waist. He moved to the foot of the bed and saw that Tylers hole was exposed. Chris' balls hung down but Hunter could still see that tight smooth virgin hole. He grabbed the bottle of lube and poured some on his fingers. He crawled up onto the bed behind Chris. He crouched down and with his middle finger he teased the outside of Tylers hole and pressed his hole without pushing into him. He felt the heat of the boys hole and the moan from Tyler even muffled by Chris' mouth was loud. Chris had no idea what was happening but he liked that Tyler seemed to be loosening up. He moaned in response into Tylers mouth. Hunter tried to push things further. He lubed up his middle finger again and rubbed Tylers hole beginning to use a little more force until he began to feel the boys hole open for the finger. He felt the tightness of the hole wrap around the tip of his finger. Tyler moaned and unwrapped his legs from Chris and spread them out all while still locked in a kiss. Hunter knew what this meant. He pushed slowly in further without stopping knowing how much Tyler wanted this. And more. He found Tylers spot and began to rub inside him. "What? Oh my...that...what?" Chris pulled up and looked behind him. Hunter slowly pulled his finger out so Chris wouldnt sit on his arm. "I think its time Tyler." Hunter smiled. He always loved this moment watching a boy lose his virginity to another virgin. All with his guidance. Tyler nodded. Hunter grabbed the pipe and torch and gave them to Chris. "I want you guys to do this yourselves this time. Big hits. You can do it. In the meantime, you mind if I get naked?" This was the next step in crossing the lines that they had already established. Hunter told them he wouldnt join in the play but that was just to get them into his bed. Both Chris and Tyler nodded. It didnt matter if they were nodding about the hits or Hunter getting naked or both. They were all going to enjoy this. The boys took their hits with Chris lighting the pipe each time. It was almost sweet how Chris took care of Tyler like that. Little did they know. Hunter could see that the increased high was making them hornier and hornier. They were looking at each other during and after the hits like they had forgotten that Hunter was even there. Chris set the pipe and torch on the bedside table and looked over at Hunter who was naked and fully hard. "Woah Hunter. Youre huge." "You boys like it?" Tyler turned after hearing Chris' observation and his mouth was agape. "I'll take your silence as a yes." "Hey" said Tyler. "Whats with the biohazard tattoo? You a chemist or something?" They all chuckled. They were talking about the tattoo just above Hunter's 9 inch cut and dripping cock. "A chemist? Something like that."

Took my first dick at 17 work as a Rent Boy for 5 years took my first fist at 19 Poz at 20 so my hole has lots of mileage on it. Today it looks more like a woman cunt than a ass hole. Your hole is a mussel and like any mussel they change in size from use and stress. People call them names from a boy hole to a man cunt well I have man cunt and proudly of it just spit and fuck it.

My three week sex drought has come to an end thanks to the great time I had with a super sexy older man. Yeah, I still have daddy issues. God I needed it so bad!

Love a cunt with mileage. Now I can fuck that hole as deep and hard as I want.

Usually commando, just shorts and flip-flops – so I can get rid of both very quickly and get ready for the dick up my ass....

You can practice with dildos, gradually increasing depth and girth. But you might just have to be prepared to puke a lot. You should only ever get throatfucked on an empty stomach, and you should be honest with men that you are likely to vomit when they go deep. Establish a signal so that they can prevent your stomach acid from touching their cocks. Give men control, as always. There are men who actively enjoy making fags puke. You should probably seek them out and beg them to forcefuck your throat until your gag reflex is all but dead.

No one talk or use condom In my last fucks... covid afraid more than aids now

Always commando. Haven't worn underwear in about 15 years. I'll war a jock only if I need to. Otherwise I prefer the feeling of my cock and balls being unsheathed at a moment's notice.

I take pride in the fact my hole is a gasping slit like a real pussy. I enjoy knowing that I can take a fat dick with out the squirming and pillow biting due to the pain. I can literally lube up a big dicked top by slobbering all over it and he can slide it up in me like some freeky WAP and start pounding away until he releases the entire contents of his balls in me.

One of my old regulars texted me. Asked if I was free. For him, I always say yes. He's got a small cock, shoots huge loads, and generally cums fast. He showed up, began the role play (he loves daddy/son stuff) and put his cock in my mouth. I could taste the ass of the bottom he fucked before me on his cock. Then he mounted me, fucked fast and hard, and bred me. Then I cleaned his cock and tasted my ass mixed with the taste of the previous ass. Then he left.

Spend some time with some larger dildos, and make sure you're already been worked over well by guy #1 before guy #2 inserts himself. It's not a bad idea either to start putting Vaseline on your hole at night a few days beforehand to keep it and the surrounding skin soft and supple because you're going to get stretched in different directions than you might be used to.

No better words can be said to me than "fuck you're loose " when a Man enters me...

Well Progress is going well. We got the new Roomie to pose for a photo so he could post it on some dating app. I wonder how long it will be before I tap that tight boy pussy and breed him. Filling him full of my toxic seed. I know he drinks a lot and tends to black out, Maybe I should just take him when he black's out after drinking. I am sure if we get photo's of him with a cock in his mouth and one deep in his ass he will be willing to let us do as we want to him.

It’s hot to cum at the same time as a top but I reckon I blow about one in ten times I’m fucked. But I feel their load is mine

Hi guys… apologies for the delay. I kind of wrote myself into a corner with this one and I have tried to salvage it with this chapter. Writer’s block is a cunt of a thing! I hope you enjoy part 5… hopefully the creative juices are flowing again! Part 5: My senses were in overdrive. I had a metallic taste in my mouth and I coughed repeatedly. My ears were ringing. I heard activity around me but I was unsure what was going on. I was still sweating but my body temperature had been tempered by the cold water. I heard and felt clippers as they were run over my head and then my body, cock, balls and arse. Then, I felt something cool being applied to my torso and realised that I was being shaved down. I find shaving such a turn on as it is the ultimate in power exchange (apart from piercings and tattoos.) I felt a small prick in my cock and realised that I was being given Caverject or Tri-Mix. It seemed like an impossibly big dose of that was being given to me. I was then led to a sling and strapped in. My head was lower than my arse and my head, while supported, was hanging over the edge of the sling. I felt a cock nudge at my mouth and I gladly opened to accept the cock. Simultaneously, I felt a cock nudge at my hole. As the dick in my mouth grew to its full hardness, i felt the guy push further and further down my throat. I felt my air supply cut off and my gag reflex kicked in. As I choked on the huge member raping my throat, the dick at my hole started to push its way in. It was not going in easily and I realised that (a) it was huge and (b) they were not using lube. I tried to concentrate on relaxing my hole but the throat rape that I was receiving was making it impossible to do so. The cock on my throat withdrew slightly and I took a couple of heaving breaths. As it shoved its way back down my throat and I started to choke again, the dick at my hole shoved in balls deep in one massive thrust. I screamed around the cock in my mouth and felt myself break out in a fresh lather of sweat. I felt the cool of lube being applied (too late, fuckers) to my hole and the dick started its assault on my arse. Periodically, the cock assaulting my throat would withdraw and a popper soaked rag would be placed against my nose and mouth. As I heaved for breath, I could feel the poppers affecting me. My head was swimming and I was till rushing from the drugs that had been pumped into my system. I was moaning as the fucking got more intense and more insistent. With a roar the owner of the dick slammed back into my hole and I felt the warm, moist sensation of what must have been a huge load being pumped into my guts. At more or less the same time, the dick in my mouth slammed all the way down my throat and unloaded directly into my stomach. Both cocks were withdrawn simultaneously and I felt a wet tongue slurping on my hole. I love being rimmed and the tongue probing my chute was an expert at it. I felt hands grasp my hard dick which was slick with precum. A dick slapped against my lips and I tasted arse and some blood as it was inserted into my mouth “Clean me off you filthy bitch” said the voice and I realised I was cleaning off the dick that had just unloaded in my arse. As he withdrew with a satisfied sigh, I heard a voice, “Open up, cunt,” and the load that had just been fetched from my arse was spat out into my mouth. This was pressing all my buttons. Another popper soaked rag was placed over my nose and mouth and the next dick started to ease into my hole. This dude was also hung and I could feel my hole stretch to accommodate his throbbing member. I heard, “His mouth is empty, fellas,” and felt the next dick assault my throat. As the cock forced its way down my throat, I could smell the musky scent of unwashed cock and balls. Whoever this guy was, he was a filthy fucker. As the assault continued, all that I could smell was a pungent mix of sweat, arse, cock and balls. I felt hands pinch and tug at my nipples which is always a massive turn on for me. If my nipples are not scabbed over and bleeding by the end of a session, they have not been worked hard enough. I felt pegs being applied to my tits and I hissed around the cock in my mouth. Each time someone unloaded in my arse, the pegs would be taken off, rotated 90 degrees, and re-applied. In this way, they were not mauled and really hurt, but they were always sensitive and in the most exquisite pain. Between the assault on my nipples, and the random slaps on my torso, legs and butt, my entire body was a mass of red hand marks and welts as my tormentors continued their work. I lost count at 20 dicks in my arse but the train on my holes went for what seemed like hours. My hole was puffy and swollen, as were my lips. I felt a hand lift my head and a bottle was placed against my lips. I drank thirstily recognising Gatorade and the unmistakable bitterness of GHB. “If I pass out, carry on fucking me,” I managed to croak out between gulps of liquid. I was given another two tablets to swallow - one MDMA and a diuretic I was told. I relaxed back into the sling and felt someone releasing the restraints. I still head the blindfold on but it was soaked through - a mixture of sweat, saliva, cum, and fuck knows what else; a heady brew of depravity that was turning me on something rotten. I felt it being removed. “Keep your eyes closed, slut,” I was told. I was helped into a standing position and I felt the cloth being used to wipe me down from head to toe. Then it was tied around my head again and the rank smell of my sweat and piss assaulted my nostrils. I was led to a mattress and was restrained again. Someone grabbed my cock and lubed it up. “Pass me the catheter,” said a voice and I squirmed as a tube was inexorably forced down my piss slit. This was new for me - I had mucked around with sounds before, but this was a whole new sensation. At the same time, a pecked gag was put into my mouth. Someone fiddled around with the gag and suddenly my mouth was filled with piss. Fuck! They had attached my catheter to my pecker gag AND I had been given a diuretic! I was going to drinking a huge amount of piss! “Rest up, the night is only just beginning,” I heard and the crowd faded away.

All right, you asked for it, lol. Here's the final instalment. Epilogue Several months later… I left the crowd behind me as I stepped on to the back porch of the fetish bar, not caring about the almost negative wind chill, and winter’s hateful snowfall. Thank goodness that whole nonsense with the Covid is over, and people are out enjoying themselves again. And the boys are as hungry as ever, making up for lost time, and plundering holes and nutsacks as much as they can. A lot of earlier limits don’t matter so much now - barely legal, geriatric, pretty, overweight, meth heads, toxic - they are all practically foaming at the mouth for sex. The best part is they don’t even ask status anymore. I’ve put a significant number of notches in my bedpost since my summer visit with Rick as a result. I pulled the Asylum from my motorcycle jacket’s front pocket, clicked open the torch, and a blaze erupted before my face. I turned the thick stick in my mouth, puffed hard, and when the cherry was fully lighted, off went the torch. Rick was right - I *am* a cigar pig, and while my bank account isn’t too happy with the new deduction (nor are my lungs or my doctor), I don’t give a fuck. I’m connected to this, and it’s a great memory of a man I no longer see. As the smoke curled upward, I began to reflect on how I got here. Rick’s bugs did the trick. I went home and back to my normal life, though by the end of the weekend, I bought a full box of fat cigars, a guillotine, and a torch. My house is now powerfully impregnated with their odor. When my sister came to visit, she said, “It smells like a humidor in here.” And every time I fire up, I remember her saying that and how Rick gave me what I wanted. Then the seroconversion came twelve days later. I awoke in the night, frying and freezing at the same time. The bedsheets were already quite soaked with sweat, and it didn’t take me two seconds to realize that Rick actually did it. All it took was one dose of his toxic poz seed, and my destroyed hole, and we were there. I actually had my doubts prior to this night, and talked myself into believing that Rick refused to break character until I was out the door. Ten bucks says he went straight to his chest of drugs and resumed his medication. Then I got only silence from him. No contact whatsoever. No follow-up, no text saying “Hey, how’s your hole doing?”. Just … nothing. The first morning after the conversion, I texted him briefly. “Yo, Rick. It’s happening. I feel like I’m dying. Congratulations, you’re a poz dad! And thank you.” A few minutes passed, then I got back a single emoji as a reply: 😈 No other words accompanied it. Didn’t hear from him again. I think he’s mad at me. It was entirely his decision to come off the meds, but I think maybe he hates himself for it, and doesn’t want to deal with me. I broke his perfect healthy world with my request, and maybe he couldn’t take the stress of it. I really don’t know what happened. His friends say he’s fine, just “super busy”, but no real details of anything about him or his life. But I choose to not cling to people that don’t want to talk to me, so I let it go after a few weeks. And I was unbelievably horny after I was able to walk again. The sickness lasted only a couple days, and it was no worse than the usual flu, though I did have diarrhea rather badly at the start. And then it was over. But the horn - it never fucking stopped! As soon as I felt like myself again, I got on my hookup sites, changed my status on my profiles, and let the world know I was poz. An avalanche of messages and winks and woofs suddenly popped into my message centers, and I was a very busy boy! My hookups went from me just being a bottom ho to a full-on top poz breeder. After the first three days of constant sex, I had to give myself rest. My dick was rubbed so raw that I was getting a scab on the shaft, and my balls were shooting out less and less cum from being emptied so often. They couldn’t turn it out fast enough! So far, I’ve had eleven confirmed conversions, but most of the others are unknown. They didn’t report any change, so I didn’t ask. I fuck them, I dumped a hot charged load in them, and leave them. On to the next one, and I seldom see the same guy twice. It’s about quantity while I’m still super infectious. Guess I’m making up for lost time, too. Eventually it caught up to me when I nailed a prissy bear, and when I told him, “I’m going to infect you now,” he screamed the walls down until his neighbor came, and seeing the bear in restraints - which was his fantasy - and me naked over him… Well, let’s just say I lost a tooth that day. It’ll be a long time before I go back into that part of the city. But I have no regrets. I would have liked to have more control over when it happened, but as it was my inevitable destiny, I may as well embrace it. And I did. My toxic seeds are being spread by others, some known, others not. And it’s fucking empowering. I’m like a nasty poz god, corrupting countless men’s holes without ever leaving my street. It made me chuckle. While lost in these memories, I realized I’d smoked nearly half the cigar, and have been out here almost twenty minutes. I silently stared at the night sky. So many stars. And for some reason, I said aloud, “The seeds that go out from my body. Look at the stars. I cannot count them, but so shall my seed be.” It was a perverted quote and I found it hilarious. As my mind wallowed in the humor of the situation, I flicked my ash over the wooden balcony. “I never took you to be a biblical scholar,” a voice suddenly said next to me. My head quickly turned to the left to face the voice, but I couldn’t make out the face. The alley back here was too damn dark to see distinctly if it wasn’t directly in front of you, plus this space was quite smoky. The person came closer. My eyes widened. It was him. He gave me the once-over at my new look. “Looks like my work was more thorough than I thought.” I was stunned. “Rick! Shit the bed, how have you been?” I was overjoyed at this unexpected reunion. I hugged him tightly and released him quickly. “I’ve been asking around about you since the summer, and no one could give me a straight answer, but fuck! It’s good to see you!” “Easy, bro,” he said, raising his gloved hand. “After we fucked, I needed to get away, so I took a long trip around America. I needed to be away from people, and Covid, and politics, and just took a long extended vacation. I’m back on the meds, and healthy again.” “That’s good.” “Are you happy with the life you’ve chosen?” His usually musical tone was suddenly monotone and discordant. I looked away for a second. I put the Asylum back in my jaw, and pulled up my leather pants by grabbing the belt buckle with both fists. I posed seductively as if for a motorcycle calendar. My Muir cap tipped slightly, and I said, “What do YOU think?” with a big grin on my face. He gave several small nods of the head in approval. “Very good, you look like a genuine leatherman. But what have you done with my… gifts?” He said that last word rather knowingly. I turned my head away ever so slightly. “Oh, you know, the usual. Seedin’ and breedin’. Staying off the meds as long as I can take it. Life is for the living, and I am doing it on my terms.” Non-committal responses? “Steve, you’re an asshole,” I thought to myself. Rick’s face contorted to incredulity. “You’re still not on them? Dude. Fuck.” He shook his head, blinked once or twice, and sighed. “It’s your life. Do what you want. Also, do this.” He pulled his right hand forward, and for the first time, I saw a chain in his hand as a smaller body came forward from behind him. It was a human pup, completely dressed in his fetish gear. A few extra pounds, but his color was definitely blue, and he didn’t speak unless spoken to. The chain in Rick’s hand ended around the pup’s neck. “Dog. I picked this one up in Florida. MONSTER COCK and deadly as fuck.” Rick said proudly. “I’m showing him a good time while I still can. AND he has a greeting present for you. Dog?” The pup cocked his head, listening. “Give him a Cuban Delight,” Rick said to Dog in an evil voice, followed by a grin to match. “Ruff!” He did his best imitation of dog panting. “You’re gonna die tonight.” I could see a fire behind Dog’s eyes. He was also charged, like Rick and me, but with… something different. Curious. 🤔 I stubbed out my cigar, smiling wickedly. I knew I was about to get another upgrade. “This oughta be good.” THE END

1. Aiden I first saw Jay on a Friday night, early October. I was out at a club, standing by the side of the dance floor, watching the endless parade of bright young things. Tonight, it seemed a little more college boys, a little less desperate twenty-something actors. I didn't really care that much about the crowd. It was a mixed night, and I was already too busy defending myself against horny drunk girls, much less trying to separate the gay boys from the straight men. But first, I should probably back up and introduce myself. I'm Aiden. I'm fifty years old, and I've been in that other industry since I was twenty. We never call it anything other than "The Industry," if we even call it anything at all. Activists might call it "sex work" in an effort to give it legitimacy or make it seem more glamorous than it really is. But there is nothing glamorous about the life of a boy selling his body. In order to survive, you must become someone not quite human. You must become a creature who just enacts the core human emotions like empathy, love, and care. You can't survive with real emotions. I was one of the lucky ones. I grew up and graduated. I'm no longer one of the boys. I'm a pimp, and now I get to own the boys. It's not an accident that we call it owning; it's about as close to slavery as it gets these days. It sounds cruel, but I believe it is better this way. It's easier on the boys in the long run if they understand that they are possessions, things to be bought and sold, passed around and shared. The entire process is easier for a bottom, of course. They already understand that they are just vessels for another man's pleasure. Yeah, I said man there. It's a straight boy's fantasy to be paid by women for sex. It. Does. Not. Happen. For men, the Industry is only about man on man, and the sooner a so-called straight boy figures that out, the better for him. In the Industry, we call that process "breaking a boy." The best of us pimps can do it in our sleep. Once you get the hang of it, it's easy, and for me, it came naturally. Of course, it's never easy for the boy. It is always a struggle for a boy to accept his position in the Industry. Back to the night at hand. I had a vodka and cranberry in my hand; I had been nursing it slowly enough that the ice had melted, leaving it weak and watery. I was waiting for the boys to start to approach me. It might take a second or third drink, but they always did. They might claim to be straight, but it didn't matter. Straight boys don't approach fifty year old men in a club. Only gay boys do, and those are only the ones with serious daddy issues. Jay approached me right as I was thinking about ditching my drink and getting another one. The first thing I noticed was his glasses. It was unusual to see a guy out at the club with glasses, much less the striking blue frames he had on. The second thing I noticed was that he was holding a drink. I wondered how he had gotten the drink; he barely looked old enough to fuck, much less to be able to get a drink. No doubt he had a fake ID. Before I got him naked, I'd have to see his real ID. "Hi," he said. "Hi," I replied. I smiled, letting him see my teeth. "Having a good night?" "Yeah," he said. "First time here. It's great." "Cool. I'm Aiden," I said. "Jay," he replied. He held out his hand, and I shook it. His skin was soft and warm. He had an easy life and hadn't gained the rough skin and calluses of manual labor. "You here alone? Or are you with friends?" "I was here with friends. But I seem to have lost them." He looked around again, in a feeble effort to find them amidst the crowd. "I was talking to a girl, and I guess they moved on." I tried not to laugh. He may have been talking to a girl, but that wasn't what he really needed. "Cool. What happened to her? She still around?" "Somewhere," he said, looking around the club again. He focused on the dance floor, and pointed someone out. "There she is. The Asian chick." I followed his finger the best I could. There was a cute Asian girl; dressed in a way that screamed money. I looked Jay over again. She wasn't completely out of his league. At about 6'1", he was a few inches taller than me and his tight graphic t-shirt showed off his muscular body well. But, even from the few words we had exchanged, I could tell he was still young, naive and unfamiliar with talking to girls. "She's cute," I said. "You like Asian girls?" "I dunno," he said. "It all depends on the girl." "What do you like?" "Oh. You know. A little shorter than me. Not too big. Not really a breast man." Or, I thought, he likes his girls boyish. It was already clear that he liked his men to be daddies. "I need another drink," I said. "You want one?" "Yeah, that would be great." "This way," I said. He followed me to the bar. "How long have you been in LA?" I asked as we got in line. "A little over a month," he said. "I'm a freshman at USC." I wasn't surprised. He had the good looks of someone who had spent his entire life never worrying about money. He anticipated my next question. "I grew up outside of Denver." He also had the rugged build of someone for whom the outdoors was easy to get to. "What about you?" "Been here for too long," I said. "Moved here when I was eighteen. Grew up in rural Missouri." I didn't want to give too many details. It was my job to know everything about his life; it was just as important that I remain an enigma to Jay. "What do you do?" "I work in the industry." He didn't need to know which industry it was; I knew he would assume it was the entertainment industry. That was not too far from the truth. "Oh cool. I want to be a producer." "A lot of my good friends do that." Despite changes in social mores, Hollywood was still surprisingly old-fashioned. At least once a week, a producer would call me needing a "new friend" for some celebrity needing some play time without the tabloids finding out. Or they wanted something more reliable than what they could find themselves. The line was moving quicker than I expected. It wasn't long before we were nearly there. "What are you drinking?" I asked. "Are you even old enough to be drinking?" "Well. My ID says I am. And it's a vodka and soda." "Good answer," I said. "For both." I'd really have to see his ID before anything happened. I didn't worry about alcohol. No one would prosecute for just giving an under-age kid a drink. But sex, well, that was a totally different story. "Two Grey Goose and soda." "Nice," Jay said. "Been drinking well tonight." This was almost like shooting fish in a barrel. I would show him a little bit of the good life, and get him used to it. "I'm here on a scholarship," he continued. He had pulled it off well. But then I looked him over again. The subtle flaws that I had missed when I had first examined him were obvious now that I knew to look for them. The shirt, although fashionable, had the awkward drape I associated with a knock-off. His glasses were the same: the color wasn't perfect, and there were some hard edges to the design that I associated with a cheap chain store. Call it Lenscrafters chic. The barrel just got smaller, and the fish bigger. It would be easier than I expected. I handed him his drink. "Cheers," I said. He didn't flinch from my gaze as we clinked glasses. "To success," I said, not specifying what success constituted. I was already running through a list of old friends of mine who would want to have first crack at the young man's ass. "Success," he replied. He was smiling; I wondered what success meant for him tonight. In the end, it didn't really matter what he wanted. So much of what I was going to do with him was going to be about teaching him what he wanted. Yeah, there would always be that initial spark of desire from him; he had shown it in spades. But there was a lot I was going to get to teach him, and in turn, mold it into a core part of not just his sexuality, but also his own identity. We took a sip of our drink, and scanned the crowd. It was a busy night, and on the dance floor, beautiful members of both sexes were out having a good time. As the night wore on, more of the boys were shirtless. Not only that, more of them no longer cared who they were grinding against. It could have been a girl, it could have been a boy. "Fun night," Jay continued. I nodded in agreement. My pocket buzzed. The vibration was just enough to set off my dick. I had been keeping my thoughts high and abstract. But the sudden stimulation jerked me back to the present, and I wondered what his green eyes would look like, staring up at me as his lips were wrapped around my cock. "One second," I said, and pulled out my phone. "Crystal ParTy tonight," it began. It was from my friend ****, who was just as his messages. "One am. Intercontinental, Rm 1902. Bring yourself. Bring a good boy. Bring a friend." "Looking forward. I've got both." I texted back. "$ounds good. eVeryThing covered here." My dick throbbed again. Jay was going to get quite the introduction tonight. I turned to the young man, even if it meant looking up at him. "Friend is having a party. Wanna come with me?" "Where?" he asked, but even in the dim light, his pupils dilated enough to be noticed. "Downtown. I'll get us an Uber." "Awesome," he said. He moved a little closer to me and his lips pursed slightly at the end, like he was waiting for a kiss. Unfortunately, the moment passed. I knew what I needed to do. "Follow me," I said, drinking down the rest of my drink quickly. He followed, gulping down the stiff drink. If I had timed it right, we'd be in the car when the alcohol hit him. "First, text your friends where you're going. Party at the intercontinental hotel." I pulled out the phone again, and held it in front of us. "Quick selfie. My friend wants to see you." I'd also use it to run a fast auction of first breeding rights. The first one turned out perfect, and then Jay wanted one as well. He took a few before the deciding on the best one. "Memories of a fun night," he said. "Hopefully, it is just beginning, I said. "You should send it to your friend as well, so they know I'm not a psycho creeper." I could see him blush, but again, he also moved closer to me. He quickly texted someone. I was close enough I could read the text. "New friend I met. Invited me to a party downtown. See you tomorrow." "Thanks," Jay said, as he hit send. "For thinking of me. I wouldn't have even thought about it." I wondered what his friends would think of the picture. A young man and a much older man. My beard, although still thick, was more silver than brown now, and the wrinkles on my face were becoming more prominent. But perhaps they had already figured out what Jay was just discovering. "It's fine," I said. I didn't tell him how this was an important part of the process. He needed to trust me, to think that I put him first and looked out for his best interests. But I only looked out for my interests. "It's fun to party and meet new people. But remember, not everyone is on the up and up. Not everyone has your best interests at heart." Just like me, I thought. I didn't have to worry about his friends knowing I had taken him somewhere. By the time things got really dangerous, he'd be begging me for it. The best times, they begged me to drug them, to breed them, to infect them. "One second," I said, as I sent a quick text attached to the picture of the two of us. "Fresh meat. Tonight only. Bidding starts at two." I sent it to three of my old friends, Rod, Steven, and Alex. Each of them had a fondness for younger boys, and each of them absolutely loved the idea of deflowering a freshly-minted man. "200," Rod texted back. A few seconds later, Steven replied. "250." "Wanna head out?" I asked Jay. "We can get a cab there." "Sure," he said. I walked towards the exit. I made it a point not to turn around for the first few steps. I knew he would follow me, and he did. He kept close enough to me that I could feel his body heat. I turned around at the steps down off the dance floor. "Need some help," I asked and offered him my hand. He nodded, and I helped him down on to the sticky concrete floor. I thought I detected just the hint of a stagger; the alcohol was just beginning to hit. Hopefully the full rush wouldn't be far off. I had taken the side exit, right by the exit no one knew about. It was just a few steps before we were out in the warm night. "I'll get a uber," I said, and pulled out my phone again. I called for a car, then check the many messages I had received. The bidding was going nicely. "300," then "350", and then "400", quickly followed by "500." In just a few messages, it jumped to 750, and it now was at 90. That one had come in just a few minutes ago. As I unlocked the phone a new message came in. It was from Rod. "1300, with pozzing privileges." There were two things Rod loved more than anything. The first was deflowering young men. The second was infecting them with HIV. "Pozzing is on the table? 1500." Steven also loved spreading his virus. "Hell yeah. 1750," Alex sent me. Alex also enjoyed sharing his virus. My old friends were twisted, nasty men. "2000," Steven replied. "2500," Rod answered back. Jay was going to make me a lot of money, and it wasn't even his first official day on the job. "I'm out," Alex texted the four of us. "Me too. Rod's a lucky pervert," Steven wrote back. "You win," I texted Rod. "I'll swing by and pick you up." "Sounds good to me." I checked the app. The car was still about five minutes away. "Five minutes," I said to Jay. We had stepped out onto a side street and it was dark and quiet. Despite being right in the middle of the busy section, we felt quite alone. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my keys and wallet. From my wallet, I extracted a small bag of white powder. "You ever had a skiing trip?" I asked, indicating the bag. "Skiing?" Jay replied, his face showing his confusion. "You know. Cocaine. Coke." I put the wallet away, and used the key to my front door to scoop up a little mound of the white powder. I snorted it quickly. "Fuck, that feels good." I rubbed my nose quickly. "You want to try?" "I...I...I dunno. Never done it before." He hesitated, but kept on watching me. He was interested, I could tell. "I mean. What's it like?" "You smoked pot?" He nodded. "Anything else?" I asked. "Yeah, molly sometimes." "That's good. It's like molly. Only you're stronger. You're fearless." "I just," he started, but never completed the thought. "Just one hit," I said. "See if you like it. Don't worry. You won't get addicted from one little bump." "You sure?" he asked. I nodded. I also stuck the key back in the bag and pulled out another bump. It was smaller than the one I had done, but for a beginner, it was still plenty large enough. "I mean, I can just..." "Try it?" I said, finishing his sentence. He nodded. "Yeah. You should." I held out the key with its white payload. "Just snort it up." Jay leaned in, pushed a finger against one nostril, and snorted. He snorted a bit longer than necessary. "Damn," he said, right after. "That burns." He trailed off just as an uncontrollable smile of bliss emerged on his face. "But, fuck." He trailed off again, lost in his little private world of pleasure as the cocaine got absorbed by his blood, and delivered to his brain. "It's nice. Just relax. Cab is almost here. If you want, you can do another bump when we're on our way." "Yeah," Jay said. "That's a good idea. This is nice." Another euphoric moan of contentment. "Thanks. Really nice." "Enjoy it," I said. I pulled out my phone. "The boy need any vitamin G?" Rod had texted me. "Why the fuck not?" I wrote back quickly. I turned my attention back to Jay. "A friend of mine wants to join us. Gonna swing by his place, if that's cool." "Oh, yeah, that's cool." Jay was still spinning a bit from the cocaine. My dick twitched, watching Jay ride the first waves of the high. The ease of convincing him to use cocaine meant that all the next steps would be easy. It would not be long before Rod's thick, infected dick was deep inside of him, dripping toxic pre-cum. A white Prius pulled up. I checked the plates; not that I needed to, it was the epitome of Uber-ness. "Here's our ride," I said. I opened the door for Jay. He got in, but I still had to help him. I crawled in after him, as he scooted over to the far side. "9255 Doheny. The tall one." Rod was only about fifteen minutes away. "Good night?" I asked, as we pulled away and into the warm California night. "Yeah," he said. "Pretty busy." I pulled out the baggie, and Jay scooted a bit closer to me. "You mind?" I asked. "Nah. Have fun." "You want?" I asked. "Damn, I wish. I but I gotta drive." I scooped out a big mound. Jay's naiveté was once more working in my favor. He had no idea about doses, much less what his dose should be. The mound was big, perhaps a little bigger than even I would want to start with. It would be just right for Jay. "For you," I said. "Fuck," Jay said, eyeing the mound. He knew it was larger than his last bump, but he had no measure for how it would affect him. "Yeah," he grunted as he leaned in and snorted the mound. "OH. FUCK," he said out, filling the interior of the small cars with his grunts of pleasure. "Newbie?" the driver asked. "Yeah," I said. I scraped another bump, not quite as big as Jay's, and did it. I took a look at Jay; his eyes were wide, and I knew he was flying. I was just nicely buzzed; I would wait for the party before I got properly high. Besides, Rod had promised a bit of G, and I had to be the responsible adult, taking care of Jay. "Doing ok there, Jay?" I asked him. "Oh yeah," he said. "Feels so good," he said. I smiled, and put my hand on his thigh. He was fidgeting a bit, and I held his leg in place. "Just relax. Enjoy it. Don't worry, I'll make sure it's good." "I know," Jay said. His leg stopped shaking, but I could feel the tension still in his body. "It's just hard," he started. "To let go?" I asked, anticipating his next words. "Yeah," he said. I just nodded in agreement. My own bump was kicking in, and I was floating on waves of pleasure. I wanted to see Jay naked. I wanted to see cock sliding into his hole. I wanted to see him bred. But all that needed to wait. It just needed to wait a few agonizing minutes. The traffic was surprisingly light and we were doing good time towards Rod's place. It gave me an excuse; I pulled out my phone and called him. "Yeah. Almost there. Less than 5 away. We'll be downstairs," I said. "I've got the Vitamin G. Mixed it in some Gatorade," Rod said. That was what Jay couldn't hear. "Yeah, bring that. We need something to drink," I said. That was the part that Jay could hear. "See you soon." "That your friend?" Jay asked. "What's he like? What's his name again?" "Rod. Rod Eisenman," I said. I flicked through my phone, trying to find a picture of Rod suitable to show the young man. Most of them were him fucking some hot young boy's mouth or ass. "He's cool. I think you'll like him." I finally found one, him shirtless at some street fair, a pair of thin black suspenders holding up his pants. Whether it was intentional or not, I noticed the top button of his pants was undone. "He looks like a cool dad. The one you can't quite believe is actually a dad." "Yeah, that's a good way to describe him." We were pulling up to Rod's place. "Just pull in under the awning." There was no one else, so I figured we would wait. I rolled down the window to see out better. It was less than a minute before Rod walked out of the front door, a small backpack slung over his shoulder. In addition to the G-laced Gatorade, it would have some lube, a cockring or two, plus a pipe and a stash of tina. Rod was prepared for everything, except for safer sex. He walked around, and got in on Jay's side of the car. Jay got the middle seat. "Hi," Rod said. "I'm Rod. You must be Jay." Rod put the backpack on the floor in front of him. "Yeah, I'm Jay. Nice to meet you." "Good to meet you too. Aiden's been telling me a bit about you." "All set?" I asked Rod and Jay. They both nodded. "W hotel. On the boulevard," I told the driver. "Right on," he said. Rod reached down into the bag, and pulled out a bottle of Gatorade. "Ready for your Vitamin G?" "I'm definitely ready," I said. "And I'm sure Jay will want some. How much is in there?" "I put in three doses." "Perfect," I said. I reached over Jay, and took the bottle of Gatorade from Rod. I opened it and began to drink the sweet liquid. I could just barely taste the bitterness of the GHB. "Vitamin G? Doses?" Jay asked. The alcohol was wearing off, but the cocaine was still making his head spin. "What's that." "Oh," Rod said. "Just some G in the Gatorade. You done it before?" Jay shook his head no. It was one more new thing for Jay to explore this weekend. "You'll love it. Makes you feel warm and happy. Takes the edge off of the cocaine." I drank about a third of the bottle and then I passed it back to Rod. He quickly drank his third, before handing it to Jay. "Your turn. Just drink up," Rod said. The young man hesitated for a moment. Like I had earlier, Rod put his hand on Jay's leg. "Come on. We are all in this together. We'll look out for you." It was as much the tone as the content of Rod's words that got Jay to put the bottle back to his lips and gulp down. "Nice," Rod said. I noticed he hadn't taken his hand off of Jay's thigh. I didn't mind. Rod was paying over two thousand dollars for the pleasure of deflowering Jay. It was bad service to deny him the implicit pleasures of holding the boy's hand. Besides, as soon as Jay was done with the bottle he put his hand on top of Rod's. "How are you feeling?" Rod asked Jay. There was a kindness in his voice, one that I recognized well. It was the tone he used when he was trying to convince a boy to do things. Things like have bareback sex with him or to blast his seed into the boy's body. "Good," Jay said. "Really good." "That's what we want to hear," Rod said. "How do you know Aiden?" he asked, making small chat as the car took us to the night's next destination. "Just tonight," Jay said. "But he's been really awesome." "Of course. He's a cool guy. You're lucky to have met him." Jay's hand was still on top of Rod's. "How old are you?" Rod asked. "18," Jay said. "I'm a freshman." "How has the adjustment been?" Rod asked. "Good?" "Yeah. Still trying to meet people." "Aiden's a good one for meeting people. He'll introduce you to a lot of new friends." I smiled. "Friends" was our code for clients. Rod was a "new friend" for Jay. "I know. He's already introduced me to you." "You feeling it yet? The G?" Rod asked. "I think so," Jay said. "How are you feeling?" "Warm," Jay started. We rounded a corner fast than I expected, and not being belted in, Jay was pushed up against Rod. "Horny," I heard him whisper. Rod smiled. Jay leaned in, and their lips met. It was a short kiss, but it was a kiss. It wasn't an accident or the bumpy road. It was a real kiss, two men pressing their lips against each other. But it wasn't a long kiss. As soon as Jay realized what he had started, he pulled back. "Oh god, I'm sorry," he said.

I understand how the potential of having your sexual nature exposed to the world could be exciting when you're in a sexual frame of mind (read: horny). I understand the appeal of fantasies like being coerced into sexual compliance or performance by blackmail or other means. I understand the psychological nature of behavior like exhibitionism and submission. I can even understand getting to the point of desperation for someone to interact with that a man would place himself into a compromised position. What I have never been able to understand, however, is how a man can plan and then carry out a sequence of acts that cannot be reversed and are absolutely certain to have a serious, if not devastating, impact on the non-sexual aspects of his life, to the point of potentially destroying his livelihood and his core relationships. So 'Phil', shall we say, has a stable, steady-income job, nice family, good circle of friends, congenial work relationships, plays ball with the guys on weekends. Volunteers at the polling precinct during elections. He also secretly takes cock up in the city once a month at the bathhouse during his "business trips", and has an aching exposure fetish. Whenever he can, he has guys use his camera to take face shots of him with his cum-splattered face stuffed with cock, or of him gazing backward into the lens while his cunt is being rutted. The pictures are absolutely of hm, and there is no mistaking what he is doing or that he is loving it. Finally, one fateful night, he encounters a man online who says he gets off on exposing other guys, and will be glad to do it if Phil will just provide the pictures and the personal information. With his head throbbing with the sexual high of the thrill of having his naked lust shown to the whole wide world, Phil sends all his real-life personally identifying information and compromising images to this man with the click of a button. >CLICK< There it is. The thrill of terror/shame/pleasure all at once. The deed is done. Phil thinks, They are all going to know, and something delicious and awful runs though him. For many, this is the moment of reward, what it's all about. Except, there is no >unclick< button. Once the hit of fantasy and its adrenaline/endorphine rush has passed, a cold, sick feeling settles in. They are all going to know becomes Oh God -They...are...ALL...going...to...KNOW. Now, it may be that the man on the other end is counting on a sudden onset of post-click panic, and has a PayPal account already in place to accept Phil's repeat transfers of cash to make sure that those photos never end up in front of his boss and his grandmother. Or, it could be that the man on the other end has a fetish just as compelling Phil's was to Phil, and gets off in a big way exposing faggots being faggots. And he's become very good at it, so in short order, Phil finds his private collection of intimate photos prominently labeled with his identifying info posted to various apps, including Facebook and Twitter, and he is sent an email containing the extremely compromising content about himself - and notices that the CC list includes people who really, actually know him, and aren't sexy with him at all. Bob's company informs him that his job is being outsourced. His dad refuses to speak to him. He is told he is no longer welcome to play ball with the guys (faggot). The people he usually works with at the polls cross to the other side of the street when they see him. His wife packs up the kids and they go to stay with her parents, indefinitely. For some reason, his credit score takes a hit. I could go on, but the point is, once you're in-real-life-actually-exposed, you can't be unexposed. You can't unring that bell. If a reputation is devastated in that way, it's not coming back. The only thing left is to either learn how to live in the reality of the aftermath, or to uproot and try to find somewhere to start all over as someone else. I don't have a sense for how common this practice actually is, but apparently there are Phils out there who go through with this. One sees the images from time to time, and buyer's remorse is too real a thing in a general sense for it not to apply in this sense as well. I get that there are some people who genuinely don't give a shit what anybody thinks of them, and enjoy the freedom to expose their true natures at will; yet I don't really place these men in the same class as Phil, because the feeling they get cannot be the same - to them, there is no equivalent risk, so there can be no equivalent reward. What's more, these guys can do it repeatedly... but Phil can only do it once. Once Phil has committed to exposure, and gotten his intense reward, he can't do it again. Done is done. Those people will all know now, and re-exposing yourself isn't exposure. Phil can expose himself to strangers, and maybe get some tickle out of that, but it will never feel the same as the original high, and every subsequent attempt will leave him feeling emptier. Why do these Phils make a choice to self-destruct their lives this way? I can understand the power of sexual fantasy, of desire, of horniness, of all of the whole potent witch's brew of influences that make men obey their animal brain-parts when in rut. But when it comes to doing something potentially self-destructive, the mind usually kicks in a warning signal of some kind to keep a man from fucking himself off a cliff. Why not in this case? I have no answers, but I would love to understand this better. It makes no sense for any man to so something so patently self-destructive and irreversible for the sake of a quick rush... unless, unconsciously, he is using a nuclear option to free himself from an untenable life and force himself to start anew. And if it has come to that, I am sad for him.

I guess you could say that Steve and I are dating - though we've not formalized anything at all. We meet a few months ago on BBRT. He came over and we spent the weekend getting high on tina and fucking. I hadn't partied in nearly 4 years and welcomed the chance to let my inner slut out and be a nasty little cum dump for the weekend. Drugs really let me come alive. Steve is 27, tall and skinny with a fat uncut dick and shaved pubes. Except for his broad shoulders, you might mistake him for a bottom twink, which he is not. He's well worked-out and has tight defined muscles. And he's quite aggressive. When he came over that first weekend he was wearing a scooped muscle shirt which came off immediately as he entered my apartment. Under the sweat shorts was a sexy jockstrap that contained his 9" dick. Waisting little time he brought out the pipe and we started blowing clouds and making out. He started getting all verbal. "What do you want," he asked? "I need to be used," I said almost desperately. "I need to be a cumdump." Steve happily obliged and proceeded to dominate and pound me throughout our cloudy night. I got two thick loads pumped deep in my hole, and plenty of spit on my face and in my throat. This boy knew how to take charge and he liked being a power top pig. Now here's the weird part. The following weekend Steve texted to see if I wanted to hang out. Of course I did! He invited me to dinner. I think it was a date! Can you believe that? Me either. Afterwards we went back to my place and fucked. We didn't party again, but that doesn't mean that the sex was watered down. Steve resumed his powerful role over me and pounded my hole raw with his massive uncut dick all the while calling me a nasty cumdump slut -- which got me off so hard. We continued hooking up. Not every weekend but enough. And we started talking about what sorta stuff we were into and wanted to do. I had never really opened up about my desires for slutty and raunchy sex with anyone while being sober. But Steve easily got it all out of me. I explained how I wanted to be in a gangbang with a bunch of guys. He told me how he always wanted a regular hook-up who he could pass back-and-forth with his friends. I even mentioned my fascination with taking piss up my hole. He really liked that idea! One night we were lying in bed, my ass dripping with his cum -- he always made me sleep with his load in me -- we were talking about sex and fantasies we wanted to do. And then he got kinda serious. "So you're, like, really open to some [banned word] situations then, hu?" he asked. "Well, yea," I admitted. "Especially when I'm high - I'm down for quite a lot." "Well that might happen again soon," he said. I was excited. "So I'm going to share something with you. Don't let it bother you." I was really intrigued. So far Steve has been totally confident and unabashed in bed. Nothing that I've said has thrown him, and he's allowed me to tap into my raunch pig side so easily. "My younger brother is coming into town for a visit and will be around for just under a week," he said. I was, like - OK. No biggie. I figured that meant Steve would be busy playing host and not around much - which was no big deal. "He's 24 and straight," he said. "He'll be out here looking for work." Steve sat up on his arm and looked directly at me. "I came out in high school," he said. "It wasn't a big deal for anyone in my family. But my brother and I had been sorta messing around a little, like boys do." "And when I went off to college Travis would come up and stay with me in the dorm sometimes. Anyway, he's been fucking me for years." I was turned on and really curious. I'm sure my face had lit up some hearing this. "He's totally straight," I asked? "Yea. He dates women. Always has. But he's always take advantage of the fact that I'm gay to get off by, basically using me the way I fuck you. He's really dominant and aggressive, the way I am with you." "I can't imagine you with your legs in the air bottoming," I admit. At this point I'm stroking Steves uncut cock which is rock hard and leaking pre-cum. "He's the only one who I've let top me. And he doesn't give me much choice. When he visits he sleeps in my bed and has his way with me. I know he loves me as a brother, but when we're together he calls me his faggot fuck hole and uses me like a cheap whore." At this point I roll Steve onto his back and sit my cum-filled ass down on his rock hard dick and start riding him hard. The sounds of his last load slosh in my guts as his raw dick slides in and out of me. "Fuck! Did that turn you on," he asked? "Hell yea it did!" Steve then flips us around, throws my legs over his broad shoulders and slides his dick in my sloppy hole but just leaves it there. Then, looking deep into my eyes, which are practically in the back of my head he says in a deep and seductive tone, "you like the idea of my straight brother using this faggot to get off, hu you nasty little slut?" And with that he spit in my mouth and began fucking me like the slutty faggot that I am!

When I was young I read lots of books. My parents let me read what I wanted, which was good, because I had zero interest in sports or any of the other things that usually make boys boys. (I wasn’t into the things that make girls girls, either, in case you’re wondering.) Star Wars had just premiered and in a few years I would discover Dungeons & Dragons and computers, but the books were always at the center. They were stories about heroes and heroines, protagonists who had to face uncertain situations or dangerous enemies, find advice from the wise, struggle with their own inner weaknesses, and find a way to emerge ethically victorious at the end. There were a lot of such stories, and if you read enough of them at a certain formative time in your life, they shape you. Principle among these for me were the works of Tolkien, with their epic depictions of the noble Men of Numenor and others great and good. I found later in life that I had no real-life idols I looked up to or wanted to emulate - mine were all in books. The real human ones - like my father - failed to meet the noble standard of my heroes, the standard I set for myself to reach. Therein lay the seed of the problem. I hadn’t hit puberty - I bloomed late, and being Autistic, I didn’t catch on to what was happening to me when it did happen. And why would I? You see, in all those books, all those stories, and especially in Tolkien - there is no sex. I grew up in a home where sex wasn’t discussed. My Dad’s birds-and-bees talk with me consisted of “mutter mutter mutter keep it in your pants” and I didn’t even understand what “it” he was referring to. So, like Queen Victoria, I determined that I was going to be Good. And I was. I strove to be perfect in everything I did - “Be perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect”. My father cussed like a sailor, yet not one off-color word passed my lips. I was a straight arrow, square as a cube, insufferably correct, and ethically anchored. I was also socially inept and sexually clueless, but I didn’t know that. All I knew was that most people didn’t like me even though I tried hard to be a good person, and the people who didn’t like me liked pop culture and had started going on about this “sex” thing. Fine. If they were going to reject me, I would reject them, and everything they liked. Fast-forward to college. Sex at last made itself understood to my brain, and it was incompatible with everything I ever read about, admired, aspired to, or wanted. It as carnal, animal, messy. It wasn’t Good. And there was this word associated with it, the word that, then, I considered the worst thing I could say: fuck. Still more confusing, I found that my curiosity about sex revolved around sex with other men. As a freshman, I went to my first AVS and bought my first gay video. It changed me. Fuck me! Fuck me! God yes, fuck me! Men actually did the thing my rebel body was shouting for! But not me. I resisted the rebellion with all of my reason and my willpower. I destroyed the porn tape, glad to be rid of the damn thing... then, before too very long, I bought another. After I purged the indecency from my body I destroyed that one in its turn. But eventually I would get another. I was still a coital virgin. In high school I had had a girlfriend who would work my cock with her hand until I came, but I didn’t understand what was happening and certainly didn’t have sex with her. Now I was on a campus where 95% of the students belonged to one of the fraternities or sororities, and sex was everywhere around me. I was a ΓΔΙ (Gamma Delta Iota) - a God Damned Independent - so I wasn’t marinated in sex and alcohol like the rest of the idiots. Yet I had a need in common with them, a drive at that time of life screaming to be met, and I ensured I had no opportunity. The struggle became a kind of inner warfare that split my mind in two - two different facets of me so incompatible and so consumed with mutual loathing that they persist to this day. It was only the year after I graduated that a very kind and dear friend ended at least a part of my conflict by seducing me and taking my virginity. I will always be grateful for her mercy, even though the act left me even more confused - was that what everyone got so worked up over? But that’s irrational... Fast-forward. Graduate school, job, no sex again until marriage (to a gal with a record of some 74 guys she had been with). Sex was expected, and sanctioned, and she had a potty mouth and I suddenly found my resolve slipping. During the moment, to my shock, I even used the F-word. The sex was good enough to produce two children - my son’s conception was one of the most unusual and memorable ejaculations I’ve ever had - but not good enough to keep her happy. After 11 years, it was over, and at age 37 I looked at myself and found a wreckage of all my early asperations and resolve. I had been dragged down into divorce like any regular person, prey to emotion and physical appetites that I had had to concede to in order to meet her needs. Now there was no her, just me, horny and prone to swear, and now actively thinking of finding out if I really was attracted to other men, and what that would be like. I went to Louisville to a gay bar even though I didn’t drink, got picked up by a guy and fucked the first night, and loved it. Loved it. Loved. It. Eros was god of love and sex in the ancient Greek world. Among other things, he was said to be the protector of homosexual love between men. Though originally a primordial god, later tradition makes him the offspring of Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty, pleasure and procreation. He carried a bow with arrows that could cause mortals to feel passion beyond reason; the Romans called him Cupid. I am convinced that the son of a bitch found me early on and realized that here was a mortal who made a mockery of him and his power (erotic power, named after him). He made his plans right there and then that he was going to take me down about 300 notches by hitting me with arrows at just the right times. By the time he was done with me, he figured, this good, upright, uptight boy would be a sex-addicted slut happily wrapping his tongue around men’s phalluses and taking their seed in his hole so often he would surpass even that whore Messalina. Fast-forward to now. His arrows don’t miss, and one offends the gods at his peril. The person I was in the beginning would have been unable to contemplate what he - I - have actually become. Far from his ideals, I have now been trained, and my mind shaped, to accept that I am intended for the random sexual use of strangers, a willing and eager receptacle for their fluid, my body conditioned to accept their rutting, excited by the sound of squishing juice and slapping skin, grunts and groans, and the scent of copulation. He still lives in my mind, proud and undeterred, but pinned down by arrows, while his hated rival has his way with my body and takes full advantage of the corruption Eros wrought. Had it not been for sex and its nearly irresistible power over the mind, I might have reached some aspect of the refinement I aspired to as a human being. Because of sex, my mind is corrupted, my body has been enjoyed by hundreds of men in degrading ways and I will gladly allow the same from hundreds more, and men know and use me now for what I am... unrepentantly, and as of this post, a whore. Thanks a heap, Eros. You motherfucker.

Spun Toxic cumwhore in Downtown LA area will take loads anytime anywhere. Meet me on the subway or park or alley. I am to be used and filled and to obey. Hmu anytime @ (213) 973-8083

If this is the wrong area I’m sorry but I was wanting input on how to prepare for DP? Like ways to make it easy to enjoy!

Yeah once a thick cock's really stretched you out, nothing else compares.

Thanks for thanks for returning to the story, well worth waiting for 😜

I’m horny almost constantly for someone to fuck me. But physical erections can be sometimes soft, sometimes very hard. It’s like I have two different kinds of arousals. Physical, which ebbs and flows... and mental which is almost always on. Anyone else like this?

Simply put, strict definition of roles.

I went to a few parties years ago where the host filmed and the action but not people’s faces. He edited the footage and sent links to the participants and it was extremely boring porn. Porn is 90 percent about seeing the guys’ faces. Watching closeups of cocks fucking is dull if you don’t have the context of who is attached to the cock.

Hi Believe me you are not alone in this situation.. it is something that I have experienced too.. with my employment moving me about the country and thus leaving some very significant partners in other cities. Two unfortunately are no longer with us and it does leave me depressed at times. Have you tried to reach out to his relatives/friends to find out what happend ??? Peace to you too... and good luck.

Wed. I had a ten inch uncut BBC that was delicious. I met Trevon when I stopped at one of the bars open in my town. It has the best burgers ever. I was siting outside when Trevon who was sitting 8 feet from me introduced himself. He was slender, about 6 foot and I guessed in his twenties. We chatted for about fifteen minutes and he moved to my table. When he stood up I noticed a huge bulge in his jeans. Damn that got me thinking. and wanting to suck some black cum out of him. I asked him what he was doing and he said just hanging out looking for something to do. After eating I invited him to my place. He accepted the invite. Ai my place I turned on my TV and there was some gay porn running on it from one of my CD's. He asked me if I like gay porn and I answered loved it. He said he liked it too but preferred doing the act rather than watching it. That was all I needed to hear to let my cocksucker shine trough. I said would you like me to suck your cock right this minute. He said yes and the rest of the day also. I had him stand up and we both stripped. His ten inch cock dwarfed my 7 incher. He was uncut and had a long foreskin. Oh how I wanted to play with that foreskin. He sat back down on my couch and I put a pillow for my knees between his legs and assumed a perfect position to suck his cock. The first thing I did was lick and suck his huge hanging balls. His cock got rock hard and beautiful. I licked his shaft and kissed it. The aroma of his cock and balls was overpowering. Just acted like a perfume that was driving me crazy. I got to his foreskin and chewed on it a little before I skinned his foreskin back to see his delicious purple mushroom head. I licked that big beautiful cock head and kissed it. licked up his instant sweet precum. Then I puled that delicious foreskin over my tongue and licked the underside of it. Delicious. Then I started to suck that BBC of his as he moaned and held my head. But he didn't cum. instead he stood up and made me stand up. then he docked his cock and wrapped that foreskin over my cockhead. He held tight on the foreskin as he moved his big cockhead against mine. Fucking my cock head. I shot my load in his foreskin and he followed. His foreskin swelled up like a water balloon only with cum. I pushed him down on the couch and sucked his and my cum out of his foreskin like it was straw. Man was that delicious. then I stuck my tongue back under his forekin and licked his cock head and underside of his foreskin clean as I sucked the last drops of his sweet salty cum out of his balls. We later played 69 and his loads were big. we rubbed cocks and I docked with him again and again. 8 hours of nothing but cock play and sweet precum and cum before he left. I usefully don't deep throat but I deep throated his ten incher and had it all in my throat my nose flat against him. He shot his cum load straight down my throat when I did h this. Trevon was a delicious suck. Hope we hook up again.

What was the nature of the wreckage? I'm interested in any gory details you'd share.

I hate to bring this up, but if someone's routinely having unprotected sex, "all sorts of sti's that [you] don't want" are kind of an occupational hazard. The idea that you can *expect* anything a guy fills out on a hookup profile to be accurate and completely honest seems - what is the right word? Naive? Silly? Ill-advised? People are going to do everything from outright lie (ie claiming to be negative when they're undetectable), to fudge the truth (saying they weigh 170 lbs when that's only if you discount both legs), to bluff (claiming to be negative when their last test was sometime in the 20th century). Now, it may be that the *odds* are, *most* people are *mostly* telling the truth, but to extrapolate from that anything specific about a particular person is a fool's errand.

Kenny#5 I was so thirsty that I grabbed a glass and began chugging my drink. It tasted like Vodka and Gatorade. Javier said since I finished my drink first I could have the first toke of his pipe. Luis said something to Javier in spanish and Javier told me to fuck Luis. Luis wanted my seed. I thought kinda fuzzily as I entered Luis hole that seed was a funny way to describe cum. As I was sliding in and out Javier put the pipe to my lips and said, "suck on that glass dick baby, draw it deep into your chest" Moreno began pinching my nipples and nibbling them as Kenny wriggled under Luis and pulled my balls down into his mouth as I was moving in and out of Luis ass. It was exquisite, pain, pleasure and ohhhhh as I held the smoke and it began to exit my nose and mouth.....I felt SOOOOO GOOOOD. Like superman. I felt lie I could fuck for a year. My senses went on overdrive as they all pulled and pinched and Moreno slid into my hole. I felt as if I was watching myself from above and loving being loved that way. I looked into Javiers eyes as my body floated on a sea of pleasure. He smiled and patted my head and said, "Yes baby, I'm going to make you feel this good from now on. You love dick my sexy boy" and he fired up his glass pipe and put it between my lips and whispered "suck it in faggot, take big drag and hold it for Javier". I held it and held it and as the power rose within me....I bucked and fucked and bellowed as my cock erupted in Luis and Moreno erupted in me....and I floated above the sexy scene and floated away on a cloud of pleasure.

Note: I introduced a couple new elements I have no experience with, and I hope I got them mostly right. If they're wrong, I'm sure you'll tell me, and accept that THIS part is what makes it fiction. LOL ----------------------------- Part 3 The hips began to thrust, and I felt every inch of him inside me. His balls were smacking against mine - there was no warmup to this at all, not even a courtesy finger - and Rick fucked like an animal. It was everything I dreamed it would be. I found it hard to hold the cigar while we rocked back and forth, so I wedged it back in my jaw. Rick did likewise with his own, and continued to nail me. “You’re a filthy chaser, aren’t you,” he said. It was more of a statement than a question. “Mm-hmm,” I said, gasping for air. Man, this sensation in my ass was incredible! I thought it would hurt without the warmup and relaxation of the hole, but there was indeed enough lube to keep his dick from burning me from the inside out. I could feel it running down my buttcheeks on occasion. I drew hard on the cigar as best I could; being a novice with it, I was not successful. There was far more suck than there was smoke, and Rick said surprisingly little about it after the last command about it. Rick slowed down his strokes, and began to pull nearly out before thrusting back in. My hole loved this sensation. “Yeah, take it, you fucker,” he whispered. “This is… what you… goddamn bugchasers… deserve! I’m … gonna poz this hole… so fucking hard… you will never… want to chase… AGAIN!” I answered him not, and just let him do what he knew how to do best. At length, Rick removed my feet from their suspensions, and placed them over his shoulders. I held on to the straps of the sling for support as he pulled me deeper toward him. This was either heaven or hell, I couldn’t tell which. “Ugh… I came off my meds for this,” Rick said. “You better appreciate what I’m giving you.” That got my attention. “Was he…? No, he wouldn’t! This is just fantasy, this is just fantasy, part of the script, he’s not toxic…” I was mentally trying to convince myself that I was totally safe, and it was all talk. Part of the experience. I tried to not tighten up in reaction. Rick grew bored of this position quickly, finding he had nowhere to thrust to, so he stopped momentarily. “Get up, and go get in the chair,” he said with an effort. His breath was definitely shorter, and I could see already a sheen of sweat glistening. I pulled myself to standing, and instantly felt the lube run down my right leg. While getting my balance, I looked at the small puddle that formed on the mat beneath us. The lube was there, certainly, but something else. It looked a little red. “Must be a trick of the lighting,” I thought. I definitely didn’t FEEL like he tore me open. I turned round in the small chamber, and saw what he wanted. The leather chair I spied when we came in. As I got near it, I could see it was no ordinary seat. It looked… different somehow. It had a flat back, straps all over it, and two hard-looking footrests. “Is this a Lucifer chair?” I asked with interest. Rick didn’t answer the question, but gave a low, throaty chuckle. I climbed in, and continued smoking quietly. I wasn’t going to ruin the scene with a lot of chatter, or show any kind of uncertainty by babbling. Rick took away my cigar, strapped me in, and spread my legs. He then turned away, and his movements suggested he was putting something on his dick. My mind initially registered it as a cockring or maybe a shaft extender, but when I actually saw the weapon coming at me, it was wrapped in … chainmail? I looked at him quizzically but didn’t form a question. Rick saw my expression, and read it instantly. “This is a special kind of condom,” he said venomously. I was taken by surprise yet again. “A condom? That wasn’t what we agreed upon.” Rick pulled the cigar from between his teeth, and said fiendishly, “You’ll see.” As he came at me with this thing around his cock, I started to wonder what I got myself into. “Holy fuck, he’s serious,” I thought. “But that goes against... “ My train of thought abruptly ended there as the weapon now brushed against my hole. It was cold to the touch, and I felt something quite new rubbing against me. Before I could respond or even form a question, Rick was pushing into my hole, and it hurt like hell. I cried out and tried to back away from it. But back away to where? I was in a corner and seated with no clear exit, and strapped to the chair. “Shhh…” he cooed. “Just relax. This is supposed to hurt, and it’s part of the scene. Trust me.” From nowhere, he whips out a small brown bottle, uncaps it, and shoves it into one of my nostrils. I recognized it instantly. Poppers. And they were fairly new - still strong and heady. I inhaled deeply, knowing that it was beyond my control to do much else. Within seconds, I was flying. Rick at once detected it, grinned wickedly, and took a hit of them himself. He quickly recapped the bottle and flung it away from us. “That’s your only anesthetic,” he growled. And my hips began to rock again. I didn’t even notice him finish his entrance, and I just let him do the work, wincing all the while. Now that I knew what he was intending, I just laid back and let it happen. In between his grunts, Rick said something that sounded like, “Just open yourself up to all the pozzibilities I will show you.” The poppers made it sound distorted, so I wasn’t sure if he actually said it or whether I imagined it. I didn’t respond to it, lest it be the latter and he starts yelling at me again for talking out of turn. Rick continued to plow. His look was a mix of disgust and sheer ecstasy. “You dirty bugchasing fuck. I’m gonna teach you a lesson you won’t soon forget.” By now, the poppers had completely worn off, and I was feeling the full force of the thing inside me. And boy did it hurt. This was suddenly not fun for me. I needed to move my arms and legs. I needed that tearing up inside me to stop. I suddenly needed water. The room had grown unbearably hot between our activities, the humidity, and the smoke, and I needed a break. At last, I said, “Rick, I need … ow! You to stop --- fuck!” He considered this, and slowed his motions, then instantly began jackhammering my hole. “Nope! You’re done,” was his swift response. I couldn’t bear it anymore as I felt him rip me open from stem to stern. I had no coherent thoughts by this point, except an inward wish that he would cease his movements and I could die in peace. All I could do was cry out. But then his mood changed. He suddenly pulled himself out of me, and my hole welcomed the release. I put my head back as far as it would go, and just shut my eyes. "Shit, I was about to cum," he hissed. "I want this to last as long as possible." He pulled the strange device off, and I heard it hit the floor. Rick got down in a crouching position, and gently poked me with a finger. After a couple seconds, he took back his finger, and held it up before his eye. “Yep, as I thought!” He raised his open palm to me, and ordered, “Look. I’m showing you something.” I carefully opened one eye to see. His whole finger was a bright red colour, and this time, I was sure it wasn’t the light of the room. I suddenly remembered what this was called, and why he was doing it. The phrase “cruel condom” ripped through my brain, and now I had to accept it. He was genuinely pozzing me. That, or a damn convincing scene, I wasn’t sure which. And I wasn’t about to ask. All I could think of was the pain I was feeling at the moment. I returned to closing my eyes and feeling only pain. Rick only stood there over me, studying me, and letting his dick deflate a little while he hauled away on his cigar. He let me sit there, motionless, and just bleed. “This is all part of the process,” he said slowly. “It hurts now --” “I want out of this chair,” I interrupted. “There, there, you sick fuck, it will all be over soon, and you will be free.” There was something cryptic in that statement, but it was just talk. Just talk. The fantasy, right. “When he’s done fucking me, we’ll go upstairs, he’ll put an ice pack on my fanny and bandage me up, and all will be well,” I told myself. Alas, this was not to be.

As far as I am concerned, the point of PrEP is that it allows me as the bottom to protect myself without having to trust the top to be truthful. I am not being judgmental; most of us will say whatever it takes to get laid. I've certainly downplayed how often I take loads to tops who were skittish.

PART 15 Driving home from Ted’s, i got an extreme case of guilt and shame. As the sex high wore off, the reality set in. I was so acutely aware i had semen inside me, costing my insides, leaking out and coating my rosebud and making my as crack slick. What was i thinking? And with my teacher and with Ted, i knew. It wasn’t like with the others who could be clean. The total complete strangers that i had met fuck me raw without even speaking to me. Who knows if they have it too? But i KNEW with my teacher and Ted. And i had asked for it. I had begged for it. What made me do that? But when i got home, i didn’t wash out. I somehow talked myself into it being safer to just let the cum soak into me. A few hours later, i tried everything to jerk off and not think about taking cum, but i couldn’t and it was touching my still cummy hole that made me shoot all over my stomach and chest. For the next three days, i swore never again. I didn’t log on to the website to check my messages. I tried to keep busy. I told myself over and over, i had played with fire but it was over. From now on, i would use condoms. I was going to be careful. I’m only 18. I’m not even out of high school. What if my parents found out? I can’t get hiv. Still, whenever i jerked off, all i relived was those moments of taking that sperm. By Friday, i was still feeling incredibly guilty but also horny. I was afraid to call Ted and that he would be a bad influence. Same with my teacher. Something about those two, i i just didn’t trust myself to say no if they wanted to fuck me bareback. By dark, i was just obsessing about seeing a hard cock. 30 minutes later i was clean and walking into the bookstore. I was surprised at the amount of cars. It seemed busier than last time. Feeling in my shorts pockets, i realized the condoms i had meant to bring were still sitting on my dresser. I only had a few bucks in my pocket, i thought to myself, just enough for the booths. I should run back but i was already there and the lure and anticipation was already strong. I’ll just suck unless the guy has a condom, i told myself. As soon as i got back to where the booths are, i could tell it was more crowded. I was, by what i could see, the youngest guy there by at least ten years. I made a quick show of looking at the movie choices on the wall before slowly making my way to a back booth. Before i could get in the door, i looked and saw a guy in mid late 30s heading my way. I didn’t even shut the door all the way and he took that as a sign to just come in. I turned to look at him after putting a coin in the machine. In the dim light of the porn on the screen, i could see he had short dark curly hair and a mustache and he was a little shorter than me, but very muscular. His hand immediately started stroking his clock over his jeans, before slowly beginning to open them. I pulled my shorts down. And sat on the very edge of the bench in the booth. I may have reached out to pull him to me or he closed the distance and within a second, i had a hardening cut cock in my mouth. As i sucked, i felt his hand reach down. Instead stroking my cock, he went straight past it and tried to get at my hole. I scooted just a hair farther to give him access. As soon as he made contact with my hole, he knew i was a bottom. I had put just a touch of lube on my hole before leaving my house. I am sure it was more than a few seconds, but it felt like almost immediately i was being pulled up to my feet and gently spun around and having my head pushed down forcing me to bend over. It was all happening really quick me then his cocki was pushing against my asshole. “do you have a condom?” I whispered. ”no”, was all he said as he tried to get his hard cock lined up with my hole. I didn’t even realize i had reached and pulled my cheeks wider for him. He found the sweet spot and my hole began to open to accept his blunt hard Cockhead. The whole time my brain was screaming “what do i do?”. What i did that night was feel guilty as i braved myself and told myself it was too late and to just accept it. This guy was already entering me. He was probably already leaking orecum that Was coating my hole. He saw it. I could tell. He knew he had me as he worked his hard penis into me. I was going to take his raw cock. Soon the burning stabbing pain ended and my hole began to open up. “Fuck your hole is so tight” he muttered. i was trying my best to be quiet as i took it. He didn’t last long and said nothing when he came, he just drove deep and bucked and bucked as his cock pulsed and throbbed and ejaculated his entire load as deep as he could possibly be inside me. He pulled out and ticked his cock in his jeans and zipped up. I clutched at my shorts that were down around my feet. Four or five minutes after first seeing him in the hallway, the stranger was gone and he had left me with shaky legs and a hole with a load of fresh man cum buried deep in it. I was mad at myself for letting it happen so easily but quickly told myself “just tonight”. I will get it out of my system once and for all and start tomorrow off being totally safe from now on. Looking back now, it’s a little more obvious. But at the time, i was able To tell myself i wasn’t just giving in to it. But the reality was, i was an 18 year old bottom that needed cock. I was already getting addicted. I couldn’t stop.

As a cumdump for over 20 years now my hole is very loose - and I like it like that and am proud of it. I open up very quickly so before a gangbang or sex party the first cock has me gaping. After six or eight fucks I get a bit puffy and leak a lot of seed - which I also like. After a day or so the puffiness goes away but my hole is always loose

I'm not sure I understand the question. Much of the confusion and angst that many go through when faced with uncertainty about their sexual orientation comes about because we aren't given a choice about same-sex desire - we don't choose to be homosexual or bisexual, we're born that way. So I suppose what you're actually asking is, why do some of us choose to accept a role that has some level of demerit attached to it - that of the submissive/receptive male to other men. I've actually thought a lot about this lately, trying to characterize who and what I am in relation to other men. I start with the lowest common denominator by looking at models from the animal kingdom. In animal behaviors, males generally either compete equally for mating privilege with individual females, or in cases where a group of individuals is gathered for mutual benefit, a single males usually compete for the top position, with the victor exercising all reproductive privilege; the vanquished either sneak a fuck where they can get it (at their peril) or do without. In either case, the natural imperative - the definition of male success and desirability - is to be the one who inseminates. Males who do not inseminate do not because their traits have proven inferior to the one who does. Humans have come a long way from our animal beginnings, but we're still animals deep down inside, especially at the fucking level. There's still something about our bodies and our genes that remembers the Old Rules, that males who don't inseminate must be weak, must be un-masculine, must lack good genes for breeding. And if they're not male, then what are they? Female? That can't be - they have penises and testicles, and they belch, and are stupid and throw sticks at tigers. But you know, there are a few of them who not only don't inseminate - they actually let themselves be inseminated. They let the One Who Inseminates wipe out the last hint of their manhood by fucking them like females and putting his better seed inside their bodies. It's almost as if they're evolving backward - devolving into something lower than either man or woman, something that has no role except to satisfy the lusts of inseminators. And they are found by all the ones who could have been on Top, and are used for their new purpose, and everyone now knows what they are and what they're for, because everyone has to have a place and a function in the order of the world. Theirs is the lowest place. Thus, by stream-of-thought we arrive at why any of us might look up one day and realize that others around him see him in as a member of the lowest sexual circle of humanity, dignity lost, and possibly regret that status. But regret that he chose it? I doubt that any of us have chosen this. I know that when a more dominant male penetrates my body with his cock and begins his motions, it feels like 50,000 years of evolution was designed to lead up to that exact moment. If in his sexual fervor he mounts me just so from behind and bunches up his haunches for true reproductive fucking, and then pumps his semen into my male pussy, an ancient truth has been told again, and I have played my true part in that true story. How could I ever regret that? How could I ever get enough of that? How else could I ever be so complete as I am as a piece of warm flesh that satisfies the Males? I didn't select this, but I rejoice in it. If I am a fag, then I will be the best fag that I can be for as many Men as I can serve, and give thanks for every moment. The only regret I have is that there is no way that Men can tell, just by looking at me, what I am and how readily they have me at their service. I regret that they will always assume that I am selfishly consumed with my own hungers and not genuinely motivated by fulfilling their needs. But there's no help for that - fags are individuals, and each has his own reasons for what he does. My reply here applies only to me; I speak for no one else, but for me, this is how I am.

It's 7PM when I get to my older brother's condo in L.A. Steve has made dinner, which is cool. I'll say this for my big brother, he's got his shit together! He's got this great job in entertainment and a really sweet place. I'm out here trying to see if I can use his connections to find a gig. We spend the evening catching up. Steve has always been there for me and it's nice to chat with him again in-person. After dinner we hang out and share a joint. He's all fancy with his weed. Me, I hit the bong at home. I've known Steve was gay ever since we were kids. It never bothered me. He's always been just a cool older brother who would sneak me beers and shit. We're getting pretty high and I ask if he's seeing anyone. He tells me about this dude named Sam. They've been fucking, apparently for a few months and Steve is kinda into him. My boy is quite the aggressive top, it seems. We talk pretty freely about our conquests to each other. I wish I could get away with some of the stuff the gays can get away with. Sometimes you just want rough fuck. I hit the head. Damn, even Steve's bathroom is fancy. When I get back my brother is just in his jockstrap on the couch taking a hit off the weed. Guess I know what he wants. We started fooling around back in his college days. I figured if he liked sucking cock, why not let him. I'd go up there and stay with him some weekends. I told you, he's always been there for me. The thing was, there was just the one bed always. I made him blow me a few times and then we'd have to sleep together in his bed. I sleep naked. One night after a lot of beers and a BJ, we're laying there together. Out of nowhere he starts stroking my cock again. It feels amazing. He's got his back to me and starts rubbing his ass on my dick. That was the first time I fucked my brother raw in his ass. The sensation was amazing! Better than any pussy. And no rubber. Over time it became a regular thing with us and I felt safe experimenting. So did he. It's kinda' our thing now. Don't get me wrong -- I date women and love pussy. I've never been attracted to guys at all. But my brother and I get to fuck together and he lets me really get into it. He likes it when I pin him down, slap him around and call him my faggot fuck hole. That really gets him off. Walking into the living room now and seeing him in nothing but a jockstrap, I know we're in for a little fun.

I remember the first time i went to club dallas. The dark room wasn't entirely dark but the first time i wandered through the darkened maze a guy came up behind putting his arms around me and slidding his hard cock along my crack. It felt so good i bent over slightly and reached around to guide him into me. He fucked me hard as someone else pushed my head down further so i could suck him. The guy fucking me bred my ass and someone else grabbed my hips and slid into me. Several loads later there was no one else taking my ass and i finally stood up and went t ok grab a shower. There was a guy there who smiled at me and said he liked fucking my ass. We ended up making out a bit and then he fucked me there in the open. I've been an avid fan of darkrooms ever since.

PART 12 The next day I was just wrecked. Besides my hole being super sore from all the cock I had taken at the bookstore, even my legs were sore from holding myself up so long. That didn’t stop me from jacking off thinking about what had happened in that 90 minutes or so I was in those booth. All of the guys had been hot older guys with big cocks and every one wanted it raw. I had done my best to keep all the cum inside me. It seemed important to have it soak in. And then there was the last guy, Ted. He had been the hottest. And he seemed to really like fucking me too. He had even given me his number. By the second day, I was feeling a lot better and by late afternoon I had looked at that phone number Ted had given me enough to have it memorized. I was so nervous but I kept repeating how amazing his cock was and how his cum shot so hard I felt it. His cum. His hiv positive cum that had been shot into once already after three other guys had wrecked my hole. But he was so sexy. And confident, as if he knew I wouldn’t be able to resist him and his giant poz cock. Isn’t that the world he used? Poz. I knew it was dangerous. I knew I shouldn’t have anything to do with him. But by 430 I was calling him. He answered on the third ring. “Uh hi, this is Chris. I met you at the, um, at the bookstore like two days ago.” I said, as nervous and awkward as could be. His tone changed from the gruff hello he had answered with. Now in a smoother gentler sexier voice he spoke back, “ I knew I would here from you. My new little 18 year old bareback bottom. You want to come over now don’t you Chris?” I was rock hard, even though I was also embarrassed to be called out like that. Still, I answered, “yes, really badly.” I could almost sense his grin thru the phone line. “Why do you want to come over Chris? What do you want? What do you want me to do to you?”, he said in that low voice. He was gonna make me say it. “I... I want you to fuck me again. Like the other day.” I whispered. “You want me to cum in your hole again dont you Chris? That’s what you are really hungry for isn’t it?” He had me. He knew it and i knew it. I was only 18 and totally new to man sex. Ted had been around enough to spot young guys discovering that they are meant to be cum sluts. He knew before I did what it was I needed and how bad i wanted it. And he wanted to feed my addiction. “I think you need to get here quick Chris. I have a nice big poz load for that boy hole.” He gave me the addresss and I was cleaning up and in my car within 20 minutes. All I could think about was how hot Ted was. That thin body offset by that huge cock and those giant low hanging balls. The fact that he had HIV was totally in my mind, but the overwhelming feeling was it was worth any risk. I just had to have it. I had to offer up my asshole to get fucked raw. And he was so tall and so skinny. It made his dick look even hotter. And he really wanted to cum in me. Thst just made it hotter, pleasing him by totally giving him my hole. My Dick was hard the whole ride over. As I tried to adjust myself as I walked to his apartment door, I thought one more time. I was about to go in to a strAngers house to have unprotected anal sex with a an older man that I know has hiv. It’s in his cum. And his cum had literally shot so hard I had felt it, a huge hot load of man sperm. And my thoughts weren’t fear or worry. My only thought was I hope I feel it when he shoots his cum into me. A I knocked, I was aware how the nerves had changed from fear to just excitement. I couldn’t wait to see Ted and be his bottom. To take his cum. Beg for it even, if he asks me too. And when he answered, the shiver of anticipation that ran thru me felt so hot. I couldn’t wait. And now here he was opening the door for me, guiding me in. And i couldn’t wait to go.

PART 4 Chris sat on the edge of Kevin’s bed as Kevin rifled thru his drawer selecting a jock for Chris to try. Oh my god, Chris thought to himself, holy shit this is real. I got act cool. Should I try to hide my hardon? What if he thinks I am lame because I am hard? But maybe he will like it? Chris’s thoughts rushed thru his head, his adrenaline surging as the the nerves and excitement hit him. Kevin turned around now and faced him, Chris looked up. Kevin held up a jock in his hand. “This should look amazing on you. It was a little small on me but I bet it fits your frame perfectly. Here, try it on. Let’s see!”, Kevin said as he tossed Chris the jock. Chris was a little shy and tried to cover himself a little as he shed his shorts and put on the jock. As he adjusted it, he was thankful that the pouch stretched enough so even though it wAs obvious he wAs hard, it stayed trapped inside. Chris was almost shaking he was so nervous and turned on at the same time. “Oh fuck!” Kevin blurted, taking in the young man in front of him. “Turn around Chris”, Kevin spoke quietly. Chris slowly turned so his back was facing Kevin. Without being asked, he spread his legs slightly. “What a perfect little boy butt! God it’s so fucking hot Chris.”, Kevin said in a low voice. Chris was instantly more confident and less nervous. Kevin loves his ass. He thought it was perfect. He thinks I am hot, Chris thought to himself. The nerves fading, Chris was just feeling more and more turned on. Without thinking, Chris blurted, “I think you are so hot. Even when I saw you at the store, you are so hot.” Then Chris gestures at Kevin’s cock and added, “ And THAT looks huge!” Kevin grinned. The boy was his. Faster than he had thought, but this boy was so ready. He had just needed someone to light the fuse. Now it was a matter of slowly turning up the heat and making Chris need to take yet another step forward. Time to tease the boy along a little bit, get him talking, Kevin thought to himself. Time to get to him to start telling Kevin what he really wants. That was a big part of it, Kevin thought, getting a guy like Chris to want it so bad he admits it, or even better, begs for it. Most times, once they opened up and admitted it, the young guys can’t wait to tell all their fantasies and desires. Kevin had a feeling Chris was ready to tell him everything. Kevin walked over and sat down On the bed and motioned for Chris to come sit next to him. “Do you like being over here Chris? Being free to express yourself?, Kevin asked. Chris nodded. “Good. I’m happy you are here. Very happy. Nothing is better for me than helping a young man like you find himself. And you are the sexiest young man I have ever had the privilege of helping. And I will tell you a little secret, since you have shared with me, I like it when you stare at my cock. I like it a lot. So don’t be shy ok sexy? You can look at it as much as you want. Remember we can try anything. It’s just us. Two hot gay men together.” The words had a further effect on Chris, as Chris replied “i love being here. I cAnt beleive you think I am sexy. You are like the hottest guy I have ever seen. Fuck that cock looks so big.” Kevin could see the signs of the boy losing control. He could see Chris’s lust was in overdrive. “Want to see my cock Chris?”, Kevin asked quietly. “Please!” Chris blurted immediately. Kevin stood up and slid out of his speedo, exposing his now half hard cock, that would eventually be 8 inches rock hard. Chris had his eyes glued to it, examining every detail. Chris always thought he had a nice dick but Kevin wAs not only longe but much thicker. And what a big cockhead. The way his pubes were shaved short looked sexy as hell, Chris thought. And those smooth shaved balls were fucking massive! What a perfect cock, Chris thought. “Chris.... chris. You here?”, Kevin joked trying to get Chris’s attention. Chris had been so mesmerized by Kevin’s huge cock he had lost all other focus. Embarrassed, Chris looked Kevin in the eyes. “Chris when you would think about guys and having hot man sex, what did you think about? What did you want to do? Actually... let me put it another way, if you had a choice of me sucking you or you sucking me which one would you want?”, Kevin asked. Chris was quiet for a moment. He had kept this answer a secret for so long and now he was about to share it. Before he could lose his nerve, Chris spoke quickly “Its always me getting to suck making the other guy cum. That’s what I like. I.. I’d want to suck you. You wouldn’t have to suck me.” This was going better than Kevin ever hoped for. Chris might really be something truly special. This kid wAs so horny and obviously so fucking gay. The kind of guy that is a natural for becoming a cum dump, Kevin thought. “Chris is there anything else? A lot of guys that love wearing jocks, that feel natural wearing them... it’s because they like showing their asses off. They want guys to notice their sexy young ass, so that they can find a nice a top man to give that ass attention. Chris... does your ass need attention?” Chris’s barriers were just about broken and he immediately nodded and then added “I think about getting fucked. I think about it so much.” Chris couldn’t believe he had just said that but he barely felt like he had any control over himself anyways. This was all happening so fast but he couldn’t stop himself. This was everything he had wanted for as long as he could remember. He was finally in a new town in his own place and had found a mentor that he could be truly himself with. Now here he was finally living his life as a gay man, in a jockstrap with the hottest guy ever naked. Chris was so turned on he knew he had no intention of slowing this down. And as he stared at Kevin’s now hard cock he knew that he was going to do anything Kevin wanted. “All those things you have wanted to do Chris... you have no idea how badly I want to do those things with you. My sexy little bottom. I am going to show you so many things.”, said Kevin in a whisper as he stepped closer to Chris, so close that his cock was inches from Chris’s face. Kevin didn’t have to ask. Chris could t hold back. That massive cock in his face broke his last shred of nerves and he was just hungry now. And as his mouth engulfed the head of Kevin’s cock, Chris thought to himself that he had never felt more complete. With this hot man standing in front of him feeding him his cock, Chris knew this was where he was supposed to be. He had been right all along. As his eyes closed and he settled in trying to take as much cock as he could, he was in heaven finally living his true self serving a hot top man with his mouth.

Hey Guys - Thanks for the nice comments. Here's part three. As you can tell from my stories, I like it verbal. If anyone's into getting off on the phone, send me a message and let's hook it up. RR MAC MEN 3: GYM BAGGIN’ (THE SHUDDER CHRONICLES CONTINUES) We lie there together on the spooge-stained mattress for a while, then untangle ourselves and reluctantly slip back into our clothes. Before I leave the building, I turn around and look at the empty space and imagine it full of sweaty, primal man-fuckers. The thought of it makes me throb, even after I’ve dumped a huge load. Angel walks me out to the parking lot. “If you want some special gear to wear to the party, I can go with you to shop for it,” he says. “Like what?” “Chaps, a harness, a jock, some briefs with no ass, whatever you want,” he explains. “I get a discount. I have a friend who works at a place.” “A friend?” I say, cocking an eyebrow. “Yeah, a friend,” he says, “like you and I are friends. We hang out, we have fun, we swap things…stories…recipes…spunk.” “Let’s go in a couple of days,” I say. “I might not be able to walk tomorrow.” “I’m going to take that as a compliment,” smirks Angel. “Hold on, I got something in my car I want to give to you.” As Angel runs to his car, it notice the denim around his asscrack is darker than the fabric surrounding it. Could that be my fuckload? Is my manseed slowly leaking out of him? “Here,” he says, handing me a CD with no label. “What’s this?” “You’re probably going to want to work out extra hard before Shudder, not that you’re body’s not hot as fuck as it is. This is to help inspire you. Load it into your iPod and listen to it as you work out,” he advises me. “You probably won’t want to play it at any children’s birthday parties.” “Got it,” I say. “And don’t—I repeat, don’t--play it in your car on the way home,” he says. “I want you to be in a gym full of sweaty, pumped muscle fuckers when you hear it for the first time.” Angel laughs, imagining the moment. “Then text and tell me about it.” With that, he pushes me against my car and kisses me. I can still taste cum on his lips. “You did good today, Randy,” he says sweetly. “I can see it in your eyes. You’ve changed; there’s a confidence there, a kind of power. I’m proud of you.” “Thank you,” I say. I’m proud of me, too, because I’m not just dreaming it now. I’m living it. On the drive home, I get stuck behind an accident but I’m too blissfully worn out to care. To pass the time, I let some globs of cum seep out of my ass, reach into my sweats from the front, scoop it up and bring it to my lips. Each time I do this, my cock’s a little harder as my hand grazes past it. If other drivers notice, I don’t fucking care. The next morning, I wake up and for a few minutes, I wonder if everything that happened yesterday—the warehouse, the mattress, the marathon flip-fuck cum-swap with Angel—was just a dirty dream. But when I rise to walk to the bathroom, the sweet, hard-earned ache in my asshole says to me, “It happened, Randy. You fucking did it. It’s real.” I dress for the gym in a royal blue fitted Nike dry-fit tank and black nylon shorts that are cut a bit high to show off my cycler’s quads. I consider going commando but after what Angel said about the CD, I’m a little afraid not to. I load the disc Angel gave me into my Powerbook, that trusty, gleaming gadget that led me to my debauched destiny. The CD has ten tracks on it: 1) Where Do You Think I Want You to Shoot It? 2) Drop It Deep 3) Fuel Injected 4) Overflow / Lick It Up 5) Snowballer’s Chance in Hell 6) (Riding in on a) Carpet of Cum 7) How Many So Far? 8) Churn 9) Second Ring of Heaven 10) Deep Seeded Need I fight the temptation to listen and just transfer the tracks to my iPhone. I drive to the gym, check in and put my bag in a locker. I slip my earbuds in, check my appearance in the mirror—I look good. There’s a swagger there, I didn’t have before. From the back, I see my hard-earned V leading down to my glutes, which seem extra perky today. Could my butt be more toned from one breeding? I step onto the treadmill and lift my right foot on the sidebar, to stretch my hamstring before I jog my two-mile warm up. This stretch is another not-so-gentle reminder that my asshole is still deliciously sore from Angel. I press ‘Play,’ and wait. A warm synth pad fills my ears, then a tribal drumbeat kicks in on top of it. I’m thinking ‘Big deal, this is just a typical dance track,’ but then the vocal track kicks in. We’re not talking Rihanna or Ke$ha or some other dance diva of the moment. These vocals are pure testosterone. It’s men; full-throated, deep-voiced men, who were clearly recorded while in the act of fucking or getting fucked…or maybe fucking and getting fucked. My cock gets rockhard in my jock. It’s all so fucking loud and vulgar and hot that I quickly scan the gym floor to make sure know one else can hear it, that this is my little secret. I switch legs and keep listening to the cacophony of grunts and groans and moans and sighs, all artfully edited and looped together to form rhythm patterns and even melodies. Occasionally a word or phrase will pop out, like, “In me, fucker, in me,” “Breed it, baby,” or “Where do you think I want you to shoot it?” which is the title of this particular track. “What the fuck is on this CD?” I text Angel. I’m into my second mile, my cock so hard in my jock it hurts, when Angel texts me back. ‘Actual audio from Shudder parties.’ I imagine some hot teamster type running around the warehouse with a boom mic and a leaking dick hanging out of his cargo pants. ‘Genius,’ I text back. ‘Who put it together?’ ‘Oscar.’ ‘Who?’ ‘Bred me on cam for you.’ ‘Oh. Man of many talents.’ Have you gotten to ‘How Many So Far?’ It’s like Beyonce’s countdown song, but w/ loads. LOL.’ ‘Dick too hard to run. Hope you’re happy.’ I get off the treadmill and head to the free weight area. My dick stays rock hard through my workout as the hits just keep on coming. “Flood me, fucker, flood me. I feel it, I feel it shooting. Beg for it, boy. Beg. For. Seed.” Between sets of curls, I reach into my shorts and adjust my dick, so it’s pointing diagonally up. The leaking head is nearly popping out but it’s much more comfortable than the previous position. A track or two later--as robotic stud voice says, “Sperm Me,” over and over in my ears--I’m doing lat pulldowns when a tattooed Polynesian hunk in head-to-toe Underarmour flashes me a smile. I’ve seen this stud here before but never interacting with him. He’s an avid swimmer and I’ve often enjoyed watching him get out of the pool in his old school blue Adidas Speedo and strut those granite butt cheeks to the locker room but he’s always struck me as straight or unavailable. But that wasn’t a very straight smile. Sperm me sperm me sperm me sperm me. “What are you listening to?” he asks, between tricep push-downs. “You seem like you’re in another world.” “Is it that obvious?” I say. He nods. “It’s a hot mix of some sexy dance tracks a friend of mine put together. Very unique, one-of-a-kind kind of stuff.” “You know Oscar,” he says, with a grin. He tilts his head down and stares into my eyes, while his bulging tris contract and release. Oh shit, I think, we’re gonna fuck. I know it…right then. It’s fucking on. I’m going to be one of those guys I’ve always heard about and envied, those guys who fuck and breed at the gym. Who knows? I may have to start allotting extra time into my workouts for buttfucking. I’m sure this kind of thing happens to Angel and his posse all the time, but it’s excitingly novel to me. A hungry smile, a loaded look and few carefully selected words are uttered and bam, it’s fucktime. “Well, actually, I haven’t met Oscar, face to face,” I say, straddling the bench for another set of pull-downs, “but a friend of mine is a good friend of his so you know…” “There’s some kind of DNA connection there,” he says. “Bingo,” I say. When I stand up from the bench, I feel cool air on my cockhead but I’m not sure if it’s real and my dick’s popping out or in my mind because I’m so boned. I’m afraid to look so I just walk over to the guy and offer him my gloved hand. “I’m Randy,” I say. “Bryan,” he says, taking my hand in his and giving it a long leather-to-leather squeeze, “with a Y.” “You’ve heard Oscar’s mixes, I take it?” “Actually, no,” says Bryan. “But I’ve heard of Oscar’s mixes. I’ve always wanted to check them out.” “Come do crunches with me in the aerobics studio. You can have one earbud, I’ll have the other.” “God, that’s so intimate,” he says, with a laugh. “I know,” I say. We walk together to the aerobics room and sit on the floor facing the mirror. I put one earbud up to his right ear. “I’m going in, okay?” I whisper. “Please,” he says. I insert his earbud, then put the other in my left ear. “We have to stay close together,” I say. “Okay,” he says. I scroll through the titles I haven’t heard yet and pick “Churn.” Side by side, Bryan and I do work our ab muscles and listen to a slow burn of a jam, like if Sade had a cock. It features a recurring sample of what sounds like a wet, sloppy used asshole getting reamed for the umpteenth time. That’s probably exactly what that is. Turned on beyond words, we pour our libidos into our workouts and try to out sweat each other, matching each crunch to the beat as the track reaches it’s bellowing climax with a chorus of deep-voiced studs chanting, “Seed him! Seed him! Seed him! Seed him! Seed him! Seed him!” and then a lucking top groaning, “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucckkk!” We fall back onto our backs and look up at the ceiling, which has a mirror on it that I’ve never noticed before. “Oh my God,” I gasp. “I think I was actually at that party,” remarks Bryan. “I think I was was one of the chanting guys. I don’t know whether I should sue or be flattered.” My eyes are glued to Bryan’s crotch in the mirror. His Underarmour tights look like they’re about to burst. Fuck, he’s packing. He does a series of small pelvic pumps, like a jackhammer then turns his head to face me. “Go move that curtain to the right,” he says, gesturing with his dimpled chin to a long piece of fabric that covers one of the side walls. “I would but I can’t get up. You know why.” “You think I can?” I ask. “At least you have regular shorts,” he says. “If I stand up, I could be arrested for public indecency.” I jump up and pull the curtain to reveal a door I’d never known was there. “See if it’s open,” he says. I do and it is. I look inside and discover a storeroom used for yoga mats, blocks, steps, etc. I look back and raise my eyebrows. “There’s a class in here in ten minutes,” he says. “If we go in, we can’t come out for at least an hour.” I think about the conference call I have for work in 45 minutes. Screw it. “I don’t have anywhere to be,” I say. “Except in those tights.” In one fluid movement, Bryan rises and darts into the storeroom, pulling me in with him and closing the door behind us. “Come over here,” he says, leading me to the corner where two stacks of plastic, shoulder-height step-aerobics steps form a barricade between the back wall and the door we entered through. He pulls me behind them, brings us both down to our knees and smiles. “Hey, fucker.” “Hey,” I say. “But what if the next class is a step class and they take our wall away?” “It’s yoga.” “You really know all the ins and outs around here,” I remark. “I used to teach spinning here,” he says. “Explains the ass,” I say. I reach around and put my hand on his Spandex covered ass. He gently moves it up to his lower back. “Just kiss me for a while,” he says. “Only kiss.” “Why?” I ask. “You’ll see.” Just then, the door opens and I hear the voice of two women; one I assume to be the instructor and the other, a student. They make small talk and grab mats from the stack that’s just in front of our wall of steps. All the while, Bryan and I kiss soft and gentle, not noisy, for obvious reasons. More yogis come in and grab mats. More kissing, our crotch bulges gently brushing against each other, back and forth. Finally, some New Age-y music kicks in and we hear the class start. Bryan pulls my shorts and jock down. My raging hard-on pops up and smacks my stomach. Just then, the door opens again. We duck down and freeze. A last-minute student grabs a mat, runs out and closes the door behind her. “Fucking latecomers,” I whisper. Bryan looks down at my rock hard cock. He taps his index finger on my leaking dickhead, then pulls it to his mouth. It connects in one long strand then snaps. He kisses me and I can taste my pre-cum. He pulls my shorts back up but pulls my dick off to the side of my jock then stands back to look at me. “I have a gym gear fetish,” he whispers, “and I’ve been wondering what your pretty cock would look like up against that silky nylon with no jock. Fuck, that’s nice,” he says. “Take a picture, it lasts longer,” I say, willing my dick to bob up and down in my shorts. “Fine,” Bryan says, before grabbing my iPhone, snapping a few pics of me with my gym shorts hard-on, and a few with my cock fully out. “My face showing?” “Yeah,” he says. “That a problem?” I’ve taken naked pictures of myself before, a few, but never with the face showing. “It’s not a problem,” I say. “True breeding fuckstuds are totally unapologetic,” I remember Angel saying to me yesterday during the afterglow on that cum-matted mattress. “They don’t care if people think they’re reckless whores because they know that deep down inside, everyone wishes that they could be that kind of free.” Bryan puts my iPhone down and goes down on my knob in one gulp. I stifle a moan. The yoga music isn’t nearly loud enough to drown out the kind of sounds I want to make. Bryan pulls his head off my cock, stands up and kisses me, deep and wet. I turn him around and grind my cock against his nylon-clad ass, caressing those pumped pecs beneath that skintight red Underarmour shirt. Fuck, they feel hot. I start to inch my hand around his waist to feel his amazing bulge. I touch cock way before I’m expecting to as it’s snaking halfway around his waist like a belt. “Holy shit,” I say. “Shhhh,” he says, laughing. When I crouch down to inspect his ass, I feel the soreness of my own ass. God, that’s incredible, experiencing a physical reminder of a recent red-hot fuckfest just as you’re about to embark on another one. I realize in that moment that life is about fucking--breeding and getting bred--and everything else that happens to us is just window dressing. I rub my hands all over his glorious nylon clad ass, then peel his tights down to reveal his rock hard globes. I spread them apart with my hands, then dive right onto his hole, tongue first. God, he tastes good, clean and warm and sweaty. I can tell me wants to shout all manner of indecencies at me, but instead he just breathes. I stand up and press my fuckstick into his crack. “I want in,” I breathe, then think, ‘Angel would be soooo proud of me.’ “I want you in,” he replies. “Give me a sec.” He skitters across the room, tights around his knees to the First Aid kit on the wall, digs behind a box of Band-Aids and produces a small tube of Wet. “From when I used to work here,” he explains. “It’s kind of old but who cares?” “Not me,” I say. Bryan gets my dick ready, being mindful not to use up all the lube. I’m guessing he wants us to flip but damn, my ass is sore. He removes the top few rows of steps so he can lay flat on the stack. I aim my cock at his sweet ass, touch the tip to his hole, then pause. “Hold on,” I say. “Were there any rubbers stashed in there?” “I didn’t see any,” he says, with a boyish shrug. “Oh well,” I say, then go balls deep in one long, slow stroke. Bryan lets out the loudest sound either of us has made since we entered the room, but it’s still not loud enough to be heard over the Enya playing in the next room. At least, I hope it’s not. It doesn’t take him long to get used to my dick. After a few slow strokes in and out, I bury it all the way in then slowly wiggle my hips back and forth, exploring every inch of his fuck chute. “God, you feel good,” he whispers. “Pound me.” I do just that, in long deliberate strokes, building up steam and then pulling back when I feel my balls start to pull up. Then when the need to seed dies down, I go back at it. I’m honing my skills with every fuck, I think. The mix of having control during sex and losing control during sex, the dance of that, is incredibly exciting to me. I want to be the kind of fucker who can masterfully take a partner and myself to the edge and over it—conscious of every stroke and caress—and also someone who is constantly surprised by new sensations and savage mindfucks. I want to develop mad-skills as a cocksman and still get get taken to other worlds by a great fuck. After a solid few minutes of pounding, Bryan stands up, arches back and whispers, “You’re about to fuck the cum out of me and all over this equipment.” “And the problem with that is?” I whisper back. “It’s not where I want it to go,” he says. He wants to breed me, too. I had a feeling he wanted to. That’s what I want, too. My ass is still so tender from yesterday but man, this stud is beautiful and I really want his fuckload. Besides, when I recount this story to Angel and say, “Yeah, he wanted to breed me, too, but then I pussied out,” it would not go over well at all. “I was hoping you’d say that,” I say, pushing in balls deep again. “So take your hands off your cock so you don’t shoot. I’m going to pound till I breed and then you’re going to knock me up, too.” “Do it,” he says, laying his sweaty, humpy pecs down on the steps. Bam, bam, bam, bam. The only sounds in the room are the slapping of my churning balls on his ass, our breathing and the Middle-Eastern flavored music coming from the class outside. Bam, bam, bam, bam. I feel my nut coming on…less than ten bams from now. Oh, fuck, make that five. “Take it,” I say, so faintly that I’m not sure Bryan can even hear me. “Take my flood of cum.” I collapse down on top of his back, our sweat soaked nylon tops rubbing together. “It felt like about seven jets,” I whisper to Bryan, my mouth right next to his ear. “How many did you feel?” He turns his head so we’re nose to nose, looking into each other’s eyes. “Fifty,” he says. “Now it’s your turn.” “I want to on my back,” I say. “I want to look up at your hot chest…your sexy fucking face.” “Well, there’s one mat left,” he remarks. “How convenient.” I pull off my shorts and jock, lie down on the last yoga mat and lift my legs in the air. Bryan pulls the front of his tight tank over his head, so it’s stretched across his broad shoulders. His small brown nipples jut out from the mountains of his pecs. God, what a man. He pulls his tights up, so his cock is out but his ass is covered in spandex and looks down at me. “We got fifteen minutes, tops,” he says. “You want me to eat you or just fuck?” “Just fuck,” I say. “I think that’s for the best,” he says. “I just got back from a trip with my sister, where we shared a room. No privacy. I haven’t unloaded in a week.” “Oh fuck,” I sigh, imagining the monster load I’m going to be walking out of here with. Bryan grabs my iPhone, tosses one earbud at my face and puts the other in his ear. “We might not be able to be loud,” he whispers, “but they can.” I stick my ear bud in. He places the phone on my abs and presses play. The final 10-minutes track of Oscar’s megamix kicks in: “Deep Seeded Need” just as Bryan shoves his cock in me. A stud growling, “Seed me, I need it,” in a gravelly voice is sampled and replayed over and over. It becomes like a mantra as Bryan fucks me, carefully to never pull too far away so as not to disconnect us from the music. He leans down and shoves his tongue in my throat as the track builds. Seed me, I need it. Seed me, I need it. Seed me, I need it. When a fucker on the track warns, “You’re gonna get it, boy!” Bryan pulls back, nods he head up and down frantically, then hammers his 7-day jizzload straight into my guts, every rope seeming to spray out on the downbeat. A warmth spreads all over my insides, but I’m not sure if it’s literal or just in my mind. I’ve read other barebackers online describing the “jizzjoy” that comes with being a breeding hole. Now I know what they’re talking about. Bryan’s cum-shudder seems to go on for minutes. If we had fifteen minutes for that fuck, it’s like he knew to a lot five for his orgasm. While watching him twitch and convulse, I understand something else about the Shudder philosophy. The men of this tribe know how to truly savor the breed. They make a show of it for whoever’s lucking enough to be on the receiving end of your load or in the room cheering you on or on the other end of that webcam with their own spurting dick in their hand. The party’s called Shudder so if you want to cum quietly, without making a spectacle of yourself, well, you’ve got the wrong party. The feeling of Bryan’s cummy cock snaking out of me is pure fucking heaven. Cumscent permeates the room. I could smell my load when I was getting fucked, but I thought it might have just been in my mind, part of the whole fuck frenzy. Now that we’ve both inseminated and we’re back on earth, the smell is undeniable. “Smells like fuckloads,” Bryan says, taking a big, sweet whiff. “Yeah,” I say. “About fifty of them.” At the same time, we both realize that it’s gone silent in the yoga room. “Oh no,” I whisper. Then we hear a chorus of “Namastes” followed by some light applause for the teacher. “Shit,” Bryan says. His cock bounces against his thighs leaving cum streaks as we scramble to get the steps stacked back up and then disappear behind them. The door opens just as we duck down. The class members stream in to dump their yoga mats. I notice a cum drop catch the light on our fuckmat just before the first class member’s mat plops down on top of it. I’m relieved it doesn’t make a squelching sound. As Bryan and I wait for the parade of yogis to end, we finger each other’s cum-slick assholes, lick our fingers, kiss each other and wallow in our own cumneed. “That class was really special for some reason,” one of the students says to the teacher. “There was a connectedness to it, a real fluidity.” ‘We’ve got your fluidity right here,’ I think to myself and smile at Bryan. “Thanks, Tami,” says the teacher, before shutting off the light. The last thing she says before shutting the door and leaving the studio is, “Does it smell like bleach in here to you?” Bryan and I cover each other’s cum-slick mouths to keep from cracking up. I lean back on the wall just so I can watch him pull all that Lycra back over himself. He’s not the only one with a gym gear fetish. I’m sure his cockhead is going to leave a cumstain on the front of his tights. Bryan knows that, too, and he doesn’t care. The pride, the exhibitionism, the flaunting of one’s sexual needs and desires is something that sets the Shudder crowd apart. They just fucking own it. I’m sure if the DMV let them, they’d all have customized license plates: “SPUNKSWAP,” “CUMMMMNME,” “JIZZTKR, “NVRWRAP’D.” And I’m on my way to being one of them. TO BE CONTINUED